All I Remember
by AnnieAnnProps
Summary: The Shadow Isles always reclaim what is rightfully her's. Now, Vi's memories fall into this category. They all flood back, one by one, with no order and no matter how painful, she must relive them for one last time before they are gone forever, dragged down into the depths of the isles. (Caitlyn x Vi, Smut in a couple chapters)
1. Explination

WARNING SPOILER. IF YOU WANT THE FULL EXPERIENCE, SKIP THIS CHAPTER AND READ THIS ONE AT THE VERY END. THIS EXPLAINS THE POLT.

Kind of…

As the summery and memory 39 says, these chapters are out of order, they are memories that Vi has written down into her journal. I know they don't sound like her brash, punch happy self, but that's because she's rereading them, has not recollection of these events ever happening, and she's put off by this feeling.

The memories are numbered, if you want to find the plot out, read the chapters according to the memory numbers.

There isn't much else to explain about this story, but I thank everyone who reviewed and enjoyed, all I can hope for is that people understand.

PS: Mother is referring to deity in the temple that Vi stumbled into at the shadow isles. The "gauntlets" are warped by "mother" and serve her and Vi has been warped to serve mother as well.

So yeah

Have fun with that.


	2. Memory 34

_It's quiet_

The cold stone welcomes my feet, welcomes me home. Back to where it all started. I cringe, the fleshy gloves upon my hands writhe in joy.

They enjoy my disgust

They pulse, slowly rippling over my hands, mocking me, but content with themselves. They are happy with each other, for they are at home with the one they love. My right one chirps pleasantly, the left replies, as if having an everyday conversation. For them, it is an everyday conversation.

It is quiet all around me when they finish, the stone temple humming low in the back of my mind. It's quiet for now. But I feel them coming.

They are coming to destroy this place, to take away mother. I won't let them. I _can't_ let them. I must protect her.

A breeze sweeps through my dirty, pink hair, barely shifting it in its blood crusted state. The entire temple reeks of blood.

_Plink plink plink_

The echo goes far, it falls drip drip like a leaky pipe at the temple entrance. I can't go back. Its' too much.

I won't be alone for long.

I ball me hands, they flash a purple haze, humming to life, singing a hymn of death and destruction. _I am slipping_. My vision flashes, they are covered in blood. Their once yellow plates of bone donned with trophies that boasts carnage and pain. They whisper to me, praising me for defending home.

For defending mother

I scream. Silence reigns again. A single tear slides down my cheek and falls. It falls through the still air, through unspoken words of despair. It passes through my regrets, my pain, my suffering, my worry for her.

I pray that she's alive.

Please, if there is a god, let her be alive.

The tear falls, surrendering itself to the scrap of purple fabric torn upon my gloves.

It stains like blood.


	3. Memory 8

"Vi! How many times do I have to tell you!" Cupcake halfheartedly scolds me from across the office, her face dusted with a light shade of pink.

It's an old skit that we've played as we leave for the day; the audience of police officers gives us a standing ovation as we walk past.

I smirk, they look so stupid.

"Maybe a couple hundred more times before it finds a way through my thick skull." I smirk wider as she lightly hits my arms, pushing me out the front doors of the building and towards the parking lot. I glance behind us, the officers watch as we exit the stage, fully invested in our performance.

Snobby uppercity pigs

"You could've broken the vase or hurt someone or…" She trails off.

_Or hurt yourself_

It goes unspoken, unable to be spoken in the presence of the rest of the force. My chest tightens as we push past the shift's worth of officers leaving for the day just like us, the night shift taking their place.

A couple of nods of acknowledgement go to me, but most of them are directed to the sheriff walking beside me. It doesn't matter, their respect means nothing to me.

It was a risky move, I admit, to chase down the thief, no info on her helpers, no idea if there was a trap waiting for me around the corner. But that was the thrill, the thrill of _not knowing_ and simply focusing on your own wits to keep yourself alive.

It was a dangerous drug.

The parking lot is mostly empty by the time we make it to our unmarked cruiser; we had plans to hit a bar in the lower city for this Friday night. It would be funny to see how Cupcake reacts to us lowercity rats.

The second the doors click shut and the windows tint, my lips are on hers, a searing kiss flows through us both. The officers right outside the car dissapear, the whole world melts away, no more mayor to impress, no more people to parade for, it's just us. It feels like home.

I miss Zaun sometimes.

In these moments, I forget out age different, 7 years isn't that much when the younger used to be a lab rat in Zaun's _governmental_ testing facility. None of it matters now, all that matters is now and us and how drunk I can get my cupcake.

My lips grin as she pulls back to drive the car.

Pure bliss.


	4. Memory 15

Pain is an irritating companion

I groan, another wave of pain lacing up my side. The air is heavy and musky, some wisps of it smells as if charred by the earlier battle.

The whirling of my gloves echo through the stone hallways, all is silent when they fall silent.

Where are they?

"Ryze? Vayne? Lucian?" I call out. Only silence replies

My companion shots up my side again, forcing me to the ground in a broken heap. I can feel the large patch of skinned flesh atop my ribs split and pour blood. It feels warm against my chilled skin.

The mission was simple: investigate, secure, destroy of needed. Vilemaw they called him, a couple of summoners had screamed out his name when we confronted the bastard.

I call him nasty with a side of cute.

Another groan escapes my bloody lips as I push myself to stand, using the wall to brace myself up. Maybe I should take off my gloves….No, can't, release mechanism smashed, I wouldn't want to leave them in this place anyways, they deserve more than that.

Where the fuck are they?

My feet stumble on each other, bringing me tumbling to the ground. My heart lurches forward at the sound of metal grinding against stone. Thank you gloves for taking one for the team. A glimmer in the dim glowing stones catches my eyes. It's a small, pyramid vial of red liquid, an exile of fortitude.

Right, they gave each of us one if we ever got ourselves in a pickle.

I gingerly pick it up with my giant metal fist, all that time making Cait's tea with my glove on have finally paid off. Without the magic of a summoner to stabilize the healing, I know this is going to hurt more than Vilemaw did to me.

This is going to hurt like a bitch.

I brace for a second before chugging down the bitter potion, Though it is room temperature, it feels as if I am pouring lava down my throat. Somewhere in the back of my head, I register the vial shattering in my gauntlets, but the pain overrides all my sense then and there.

My mind fades in and out of reality, seconds, hours and eternities pass, my scream continues. I can feel every torn fiber in my body stich itself back together. My splinter ribcage crackles in my torso, realigning itself and sending pain white enough to be the holy blessing from Kayle up my nerves.

It pathetic how I grovel in the fetal position, I want it to be over, by the void, please let it be over. Another round racks over my nerves, tearing through each heal; ensuring each bond it sound. Another scream is torn from my throat, echoing off the cold walls.

Another eternity passed, my body curled on the floor. The pain subsided, the dull throb fading into the past and I stood. I let out a low groan and stretched out my newly healed wounds, I grinned triumphantly when no pain accompanied the move. With no windows and the only light coming from glowing gems embedded into the walls, I could not tell how much time had passed. Silence remained the emperor.

Where are they?


	5. Memory 1

"I'm just here to talk!"

I sneer at her words, my back pressed tightly against one of the pallet walls of the warehouse. She dares to come into my home to spit lies at me, to drive out the closest thing i have to family, to try to get me to join her circus of uppercity clowns. This is our warehouse, our little piece of paradise in a city who could care less about us than it already did. No, she has no right to be here in the lower city.

I circle around her, using the darkness to my advantage. She chose this night to "evacuate" this warehouse while I was away, to set up traps in my own home. The fresh wounds in my right foot stings, the blood smearing onto the floor.

I can see her silhouette, hazy in the dark. It is better than what she can see, at least, I can thank years of pain at Zaun for that.

They told me I would thank them one day as they injected serum after serum into me. Every drop of liquid torture they fed me, they told me I would thank them tenfold. I unconsciously let out a growl at the thought of their masked faces, always examining, always taking samples of the contaminated wounds they made on my flesh.

"Vi!" She shouts my name as if she knows me, knows who I am. Fuck her, all she knows is a name and a trail of broken criminals I leave at hospitals.

Silently, I climb up one of the pallet walls, many of which I had hand in building. My eyes focus, seeing light glints of the traps she had set around the walkways, two of them I had set off already and were now coated in blood. I am more concerned about removing the stains from the concrete than anything else. What a brute I am to leave stains on the doorstep of an old lady.

"Vi, I'm offering you to be a part of my police force."

"Yeah, and I'm offering you to get the fuck out of my home and my life. I don't need some pencil pusher ghosting me on my runs."

I had spotted her a few times when I would go into the market district on the account of some tips. Most of them menial like a drug deal or a minor robbery, but a flash of purple and the light scent of lavender would accompany me throughout the the ordeals.

My gloved hands slide against the rough wood as I duck to dodge a tranquilizer dart. I scramble to keep my balance, fully caught by surprise at the shot. Another one flies from the darkness, hitting me square in my right shoulder. I grit my teeth, it stings as it delivers its payload.

"I told you to stand down!" I can hear her accented tongue dance with her words. My heart tingles.

I tear out the dart and toss it to the floor, eyes fixated on the open window to my left. I can make out a shadow of a man crouched outside.

"All you want to do it talk, huh?!" I scream, I pull the first dart out of the wall and throw it at the shadow. It sings through the air and embeds itself into his exposed neck. The crumpling of his body is music to me ears.

I can feel the drug flowing through my veins, it's a familiar feeling. They gave me a dose meant for a human, not for a freak like me.

Without my gloves, I can't do much. There are two options, beat this woman up to make sure she leaves me and my people alone, or escape and never come back to this warehouse again. I already made a promise to paint old lady Boyle's new daycare area.

I leap down from my perch and charge at her full speed, side stepping the traps that separate us. I am within 6 feet when she turns to face me, alerted by my battle cry. i relish in her surprise eyes, the moon shining in through the window and illuminating us. It is not fear I see, not worry. I've only seen it a few times here in the lower city, from elders to I help cross the street, the children that i protect while their parents are off risking their lives at the power plants. Compassion and understading.

A woman who I have never met, who knows more about me than i do her, a liar who only cares about keeping her uppercity perfect and pristine.

She understands nothing.

"Get dunked!"


	6. Memory 5

"Yeah, teamwork!"

Team fight, tower, inhib, nexus. Game

The congratulations are short and polite, all the champions and summoners involved in the game were headed from their homes for that night. All except for Cait and I, who had the honor of being deemed a "free week" champion to remain on call at the institute. It was only Wednesday and I was already tired of beating the blue golem's face in game after game. My face brightens at the idea of inviting Cait to grab a quick drink.

I can hear her sharp accent cut through the air. Her light laugh flutters around me as I turn to ask her to join me at the Piltover Pub. She stands there, joking with Jayce who had lost top until I had stepped in from the jungle. They are alone together as the others had already left the summing chamber.

I growl, my heart throbbing with jealously. I turn sharply and head towards the Zaun lounge, intending to get shit faced with Jinx, at least she knows how to party.

I stalk off to the open chamber doors and into the empty walkway. The carpets floor muffles my heavy footfalls.

Screw her accent, her soft chestnut hair, the why she covers her mouth when she laughs bit too hard. They trained her well in the uppercity, leash and groomed for the show. Fuck hammer boy, they can all go piss of with their watered down excuse for alcohol.

The pause and let out a calming breath. In, out, just like the doctor said, stress wreaks havoc on a broken body. I clench my hands into fists, hold them and them release, imagining hammer boy's neck in them.

Fucking snobby uppercity pigs.

A thin arm wraps around mine, pulling me close. The scent of lavender wafts from her. I slide my eyes open, I hate how she can make me smile with a mere touch.

"You alright, Vi?" She's shorter than me by a couple of inches, but her heeled boots make up the difference. I look down at her, a soft smile playing on both our lips.

"Yeah, just thinking about how big my back had to be to carry our team." I can tell she know I'm lying, humor was my defense mechanism she had told me.

"Well, why don't we discuss this back of yours over an Overseer cocktail?" she releases my arms to struts forward, leaving me dumbfounded.

Was she flirting with me?

The sheriff twirls around and winks at me, gesturing me to follow her to the Noxus lounge. She senses my confusion.

"They're more accepting of people like us." She offers loosely, her hips sway as she walks away.

I swear to the void, if she's not flirting with me, then she a fucking heartless bitch.


	7. Memory 16

"Ryze? Is that you?"

I can smell the sour air of ozone, evidence of sparking electricity. Flashes of light escape into the dimly lit hallway from a large hole in the wall, the brilliant bolts arcing from the crumbling stone. No other sound but the crackling reaches me ears.

I reach the hole and peer in, my stomach lurching at the smell.

In the middle of the cave-like room was a pit of thick tar, bubbling and breathing. Electricity arcs randomly from its surface onto the walls of the cave.

Definitely not Ryze

_Mother, mother there is a visitor._

Whispers? A child? I lean in, the lightening had stopped, the bubbling had stopped, all was still as I stood in the room, the both of us trying to understand one another. The whisper rebounds off the rough rock, worming themselves into my head; it feels as is they are whispering from within me.

_Mother_

I can't make out the rest of the words, all too quiet, too curious. I shake my head in an attempt to remove them from my ears, it's all too familiar. The entrance is no longer there when I turn to flee, my metal fist only meeting stone.

In a sudden rumble, the tar bubbles into a rolling boil, a hazy purple mist enveloping the room. It stings and burns; it tears down my throat and eyes. The whispering heightens with more cheerful child voices, eagerly chatting disjointed sentences about their mother and home.

My heart pounds like a train, each pump sending tainted blood through me body. It pounds, harder, faster, trying to escape its impending doom. I grit my teeth, my barely conscious mind wanders.

Oh Caitlyn

In a moment, I am slouched against the wall, hands caged like caught rats. My chest shudders with every breath, rattling like a child abandoned in a crib. The burning, the choking, I can't feel much else.

To the scorching ground I fall, its surface sears to the touch. It doesn't fully register in my mind that I can _feel _the ground through my gloves, sense the heat through the metal. My eyes grow tried.

Burning, chocking, pain.

I don't realize I'm screaming until my body forces me to pause for a breath, to suck in the poisoned air. All I can hear are the sickening cracking of bone, popping and snapping under skin. A particularly sharp splinter hangs in the air, almost as long as my scream that follows it.

I am on my side, tears clouding my vision as I stare at the still pit of tar. The whispers have ceased, only the symphony of my bones sing. They have horrendous voices. I have no voice left to scream.

It's a dream, I swear it is. In a moment, I will be awake, next to my beloved Cupcake. She'll smile and kiss me on the cheek, and tease me about my drool. I can feel the warmth of her lips, soft, inviting, comfort. I'll smile back at her and tell her to go shower while I make breakfast knowing full well that there will be no breakfast. My love, my knife in my chest.

"VI!"

My eyes snap open.


	8. Memory 9

"Vi! Please let me explain!"

It hurts. The thing in my chest, the thing that keeps beating. It stings and pulses with pain I haven't felt in years. Betrayal. Trust thrown away. I don't want to hear what she has to say.

I let out another growl, pacing the room with a caged animal. I eyeball Jayce and Cait on the other side of the office, both lounging in their plush, cushy chairs. If I didn't know better, I'd say Jayce is a better damn good actor. He looks so fucking scared.

"I hate you." It makes me feel a bit better when I snarl at him, he tries to keep a strong face, but I can tell he is sweaty under his coat.

"Vi, I know you're a logical person. It's…for the best"

Lies, all of it lies and facades and bullshit they tell themselves to further inflate their ego.

Society, expectations, tradition.

All of it fucking bull shit.

I clench my hands and slam it against the wall, closing my eyes. I can't take it, a problem that I can't solve with violence. My blunt nails dig into my palms, the pain is nothing compared to my chest.

A smaller hand gentle wraps around my rougher one. I hadn't even noticed Caitlyn crossing the room to me. Tears prick my eyes at the contact. I can't look at her.

"It's only for one night. One ceremony, the mayor has expectations. Everyone does." Her voice is so small, I want to hold her, cradle her, tell her that it's alright, that I understand. But I can't, life is never fair. Her hand tilts my face up, wiping the tears from my cheeks. I lean in, letting her fingers press into my face.

I pull away, moving a few steps away from her to glare at Jayce. He looks apologetic, making eye contact out of respect. His look makes me want to just take Cait and kiss her in front of all of Piltover.

Society Expectation Tradition

They assure me that Hammer head doesn't have any feeling for Caitlyn, just a ruse on both parts to fool the mayor. All of it lies.

Jayce finally speaks, he has regained his composure.

"The mayor wants proof that his sheriff-" he trails off, no doubt searching for a gentler way to put it. Fucking pussy.

"That what? That his top officer is getting shagged by her ex-criminal partner and the hero of Piltover is some fairy?!" the bitterness drips from my words.

It all hurts. I want it all to end.

My gazed is pulled down to face Cait, her eyes are soft and patient. I get lost, for a moment forgetting the pain in my chest and the stress of what the upcoming award ceremony. She kisses and drags me deeper into the blissful nothingness. My anger remains, but I understand. Her plight, her struggle to keep her face up

Keep a face, keep a title.

Society

Expectations

Tradition

I embrace her, tears streaming from my eyes. I know it shouldn't hurt, but it does, it reminds me of Zaun. I breathe in her lavender scent. The smell of the snobby uppercity pigs. I smell like her now

I hate is all


	9. Memory 6 (slight content)

"The look of his face when I knocked him to the ground!" I boasted, the both of us falling into a fit of giggles.

It had been a long night at the Noxian lounge, most of which I find difficult to remember at the moment. There were sleek seats and stiff drinks and a hell of a show in the sparring ring. At least, a hell of a show I had put on.

"You got'em good" I grin widely at the amount Cupcake was slurring. It's amazing how much of a lightweight she was. I had drunk at least twice she had and only felt a mild buzz in the back of my head.

Us being drunk, able to kiss and touch in public. No society or expectation. Freedom. The feeling is better than any blind I've even had.

We stumble back to her flat, her weight resting heavily on my arms. She tries for a moment to find the rune that would unlock the door. I reach down and take her hand into mine, steadily guiding it onto the blank stone. Its etching glows briefly under her touch, the door softly clicking after it recognizes her hand.

"Alright, Cupcake, get some rest. I'll see you on the fields tomorrow." I move to peel her off of me but her clings on hard than hextech magnets.

All is silent, her body pressed flush against me. Hot breathe glides over my neck and across my collar bone. It takes all the willpower of the sober part of my mind not to moan at the sensation.

Fucking tease

"Come on." I try again, but she holds on tighter. "Let's get you to bed then." Amused, I walk into her flat, shutting the door behind me.

I marvel at the size of her place, the generic Piltover gadgets all organized on the walls. Somewhere in my mind, I remember that all the champion apartments in each faction are identical to each other in regards of floor plans. She doesn't have a bigger place, just more walking space.

Come one mind think, what were you here for again?

Another breathe ghosts over my neck, an embarrassing noise escapes my lips.

Right bedroom, last door to the left.

Fucking piece of flaming horse shit

I trip as I navigate my way through the dark halls. My hand shoots out and I pray that the door knob is where it should be.

It's not

Momentum carries us as we fall forward, no wits or reflexes functioning to help us. Thank the void that this is Cait's room and not mine or we'd be impaled by my pile of scrap metal. Hmmm her room small like lavender.

I pause for a moment, my mind clearing a bit from the buzz. Somehow, we had made it onto the bed safely and without having to break apart. I don't question it, sleep is catching up to me.

The warm body snuggle closer, the contrast between the building heat and the cool touch of her satin covers short circuits my brain. Her nose brushes against my bare chest, more breath ghosts over my heated skin. I can't, not like this.

"Cupcake, please don't do this to me." I groan, gritting my teeth, my free hand tangles itself into the covers.

Warmth

Neck

_Fuck_

"Stay with me tonight." She murmurs into my neck, sparks fly down my spine.

I wonder if she knows what she does to me, what she makes me feel

I close my eyes, the buzz of the multitude of shots and cocktails rush back to me. Tingling skitters across my arms and down to my fingertips. Whatever she thinks, just enjoy the moment.

Sleep is within my grasp when fingers drags themselves across the bottom hem of my shirt, my usual outfit strewn somewhere in the room. Pads sneak under the cotton fabric, tracing lazy cricles on my taunt stomach.

My breath catches

"Cait-" I lose my words, my voice airy and breathless. Painted lips kiss the soft flesh of my neck. _Fuck_

"Caitlyn, you're drunk"

"So are you"

I bring my hands up to her should, pushing her away gently. Distance is made between my neck and her maddening touch. In the dim light and my enhanced sight, I can see the haze of alcohol in her eyes and a blush dusted over her cheeks.

_Fucking tease_

"Fucking tease"

It's a rare moment that I hear Caitlyn curse, usually it it's a response to some sort of injury on the job. The lack of context unnerves me. I shake it off, reminding myself that I can't let anything happened to Caitlyn that I will regret in the morning. She pouts and I almost forget.

I tear my gaze away and kiss the top of her forehead. Her head finds its way back into the crook of my neck, this time, only her breath playing with my sanity. It falls quiet again, everything stills. My eyes slide shut, sleep revisiting me. I wonder how the morning will treat me.

Such a fucking tease


	10. Memory 3

I sit passively in my seat, slightly glaring at the panel of three people in front of me. My eyes soften when they reach the last one. The first wears a white lab coat, I try not to pay attention to him and answer is invasive questions as shortly as possible. His tests upon tests of pricking needles and hextech scans push me closer towards snapping in irritation. The second was a woman, clipboard in hand, scribbling down notes every time I even lifted a finger; human resources and physiologist of the police force. And lastly, the woman who had bested me in the warehouse.

Only the last one wore a neutral expression.

I stifle back my growls as the doctor finished up his test, drawing the last vial of blood and inserting a chip into my wrist. They told me it was mandatory for all uppercity residence to have a hexchip for identifying and monetary purposes. I call bullshit, but I sit through it anyways.

I wonder if I can cut it out.

He grumbles about Zaun and pulls Caitlyn outside, leaving me alone with the uptight, middle aged woman. A frown remains etched on her face as she asks me question about my past. I refuse to answer most of them. I chuckle when her frown deepens when I tell her I'm gay.

Fucking uppercity pigs

The sheriff returns, a handful of papers in her hand. She tells the other to leave us, taking the papers that she had been scribbling on. The woman sends me one more look of disgust before vacating the small room. I can hear my heart by the time the door closes. I've never been one to fidget in my seat.

I feel like the room is suffocating.

"So, Zaun huh?" her relaxed voice washes over my stiff body. I bring my eyes to meet hers, a spark of curiosity dances in both our windows.

My eyes widen as she tears the papers the human resources woman had given her, tossing the small scraps into the rubbish bin at her side. Her hand retrieves a blank copy of the same form from the desk and folds it, the small square disappearing into the pocket of her dress. She smalls softly and open the door.

"Walk with me, VI. I'd like to get to know my partner without a middleman." She glides out the room, her boots tapping along the laminate floor.

I trail after her like a lost puppy, a grin plastered on my face.


	11. Memory 17

"VI!"

My name is screamed agree, muffled by the winding labyrinth of stone. It's barely audible over the sickening sounds the bones of my hands were producing.

It pains me to draw a breath, but I push it, force it, let me be heard. I let out the loudest scream I could muster, I can feel something tear in my throat but I pay no mind to it. I feel multiple footfalls growing closer to me. They pause, yelling out my name again. I let out another scream, it sounds raspy and deeper. A violent cough shakes my chest; speckles of blood find their way onto my writhing hands.

Burning chocking pain

_Oh Caitlyn_

I finally take notice of my gauntlets. The metal is gone, the lights are gone, what is left is flesh and bone; not my flesh and bone. It's a deep purple color, leather like and plated with yellow, boney plates. There are black spikes lining the knuckles, they ripple with the popping sounds of my fingers.

My breath becomes harder to come by.

There is a pause. The burning stops, my throat clears. No pain, no popping, no footsteps. A breath of relief passes my lips. In a moment, the burning returns tenfold, clawing past my shoulders and down my back. My voice is revived, echoing in my small tomb.

_If there is a god, please, spare me from is agony._


	12. Memory 22

"Vi? Are you alright?"

I tear my gaze away from the skyline of Piltover, the world spinning slightly at the action. I can't remember how many conqueror on the rocks I've had. A lewd smile greets my love.

The night was breezy out on the mayor's estate balcony, the sky almost starless from the light of the city. None of it matter, though, as I lay my eyes on the beauty in front of me.

My eager eyes trace her thin body outlined in her pastel purple dress. A bloom of crystals lay on the left of her breast, a multitude of shimmering gems prance in the moonlight. Delicate curls of chestnut hair spills out from underneath her cocktail hat; an airy, silken version of her usual top hat. As she comes closer, I take a deep breath to sober myself enough to hold a conversation. I nearly melt at the scent of the special perfume she wears to ceremonies. Hints of lavender and sunflowers fill my mind.

"I'm alright now that you're here."

I've been told I'm cheesy when buzzed.

She chuckles, sauntering over to my places against the balcony railing. My eyes are drawn back down from her eyes to her hips, how they sway perfectly with every step. I glance at the glass door, noticing that the party noise had died down. They were starting the awards.

A shiver scampers down my spine, the gentle scraping of her manicured nails on the back of my neck electrified by the alcohol in my brain. Another hand runs through the gelled top of my hair. I let out a contented sigh, locking eyes with her. Though she is older, I am still taller, but her choice of heels this night made up for the difference.

She stands eye level to me, her hands sliding down to grip the lapels of my suit, coaxing me forward. Our lips touch and I lose myself to her, sweet champagne sparkles on her tongue. I drink her in for all she's worth.

We part, my mind clearer than before as I realize why she is out here with me. The plan.

"Are you ready?" Our hands find each other, mine clad in light pink leather and her in white satin, and cling onto one another for comfort. She draws as much courage from me as I from her.

I hesitate with my answer, the weight of the of the situation finally bearing down on me. I had nothing to lose, no family to disappoint, no money to be disinherited from, no mayor or fame to my name. I was a simpleton, she was at the top.

And yet here she was, worrying about me.

_Break society, expectation. Fuck tradition._

I lean in for a chaste kiss and grin.

"Ready when you are, Cupcake."


	13. Memory 21

My nose twitches. It's itchy but I can't scratch it.

My backs warm, I flex slightly, soreness tears through my muscles. I suppress a groan of pain. Where ever I am, it smells clean, quiet, soft breathing.

It takes some effort to pry my eyelids apart; every muscle that I'm conscious of feels like it's been hit with a sledge hammer ten times over. The room is flooded with light, the walls are white and there is the distinctive smell of magic in the air. In my bleary vision, I can see a sleeping figure slouched over on my bed. I try to reach out but find my hands heavier than usual and strapped down.

Something's not right.

I let out a grunt of frustration and the figure stirs. I heart skips a beat when my sight clears and I recognize who it is. The memories flood back to me in that moment.

Shadow isles

Vilemaw

Tar pit

Pain

Salvation

I scramble for words.

"Hey Cupcake."

I barely make it out before dry lips are sealed over mine. The passion and anguish pours from the contact and washes over me, my heart constricts with guilt.

"Don't 'hey cupcake' me." she murmurs softly, pulling away burying her facing into my should. Her tears begin to soak whatever shirt I am wearing. "Six days, VI, you've had me worried sick for six fucking days."

I could tell, her hair is a mess and I could spy paperwork stacked next to her seat. I want with all my heart to embrace her, but I can't, it finally dawns on me.

My eyes drag down, fearing for the worst. Nothing hurts, the sensation is strange. I could feel the magic infused bonds that were strapped around my boney gauntlets. I flex and open my hands, they react faster than my hextech gloves, as if they were my own flesh and blood.

A hand brings my chin up, Caitlyn's forehead resting against my own.

"We couldn't find a way to take them off. The summoners here wanted to make sure you didn't break something, or hurt someone."

"Or hurt myself." I finish. She smiles; we know each other so well. Discomfort runs up my arm as she drags a finger up it. I squirm under her touch.

"I'm sorry, does it hurt?" She gasps, pulling her finger away sharply.

"No, it just feels…off putting." I do my best to find a word to describe the sensation. It felt like someone touching you while you were wearing a layer to gel; you feel it, but not quite right.

There is a knock at the door and Cait flies off of me, hastily standing as the doctor walks in. Her fingers linger on my cheek before returning to her side.

The doctor smiles at us both, her usual summoner robes tailored differently from the Rift summoners I was used to seeing around the league. She holds a shard of nexus in her hands, glowing a faint green and humming with energy. She assures me that they did not find anything wrong with me other than my gloves. The healing summoners had already taken a look at my health and hadn't found anything life threatening.

"But we do want you to stay in the institute infirmary for a few more days to run some field tests." She concludes, the shard of nexus flashing briefly before falling with her hand. She pockets it and turns to me, noticing how I keep flexing and testing the leather straps.

"I can release your hands if you promise not to go on a rampage with you did back as the Isles." She jokes light heartedly.

I stop my movement, eyes wide and starting at both the summoner and Caitlyn. I fear for the worst.

"None of them were seriously injured," Caitlyn caresses my face, her touch reassuring, "Lucian and Vayne were nimble enough to avoid you until Ryze conjured a runic prison spell strong enough to contain you. "

I nod numbly; my mind draws a blank when I try to remember the event. The straps come off one by one; the relief of having my hands free is heavenly. The gloves make a chirping sound once they are released; all of us flinch at the noise.

_Free. Free. Protect_

I can sense their thoughts in snippets, the two of them quickly falling silent under the gaze of us. I think to myself if they'll function like my hextech gauntlets.

They let out a low rumble, the veins bulging and releasing a light purple mist. They feel warm, obeying my thoughts rather than gestures hidden in my gloves like my old pair. I smile.

A rather large group of summoners arrive at my door to escort us to the farthest training field after sensing the "influx of runic energy" as they called it. It's a rarely used clearing with a multitude of tree stumps in the middle. They all stand far away and tell me to let loose on the stumps. They all levitate their nexus shard in their hands as they observe me.

It's comical to see all of them half cowering half curious trying to document my abilities.

There is nothing but charred wood left when they lead us back to the room, leaving us alone. Caitlyn drags a hand along the boney plates, her fingers tracing each ridge it comes by. Soft pads press into the leathery skin in between the plates. She tells me it feels like Cho' Gath's exoskeleton; solid and cool to the touch.

Her hands feel warm. Oh so warm.

Together, we sit for a bit, catching up while a Pilt nurse brought us our lunch. The league employs a number of people from each of the represented city-states to help the champions feel more at home. She smiles as us knowingly, giving us a wink and locking the door behind her.

I warms my heart that there are at least some Pilts that are accepting.

Caitlyn spoon feeds me the soup since we had yet to find a way to remove the gloves from my hands. The liquid falls tasteless on my tongue, I find more worth in investing my attention in her eyes than the spoon. We share a chuckle as a spoonful of the soup finds it way dribbling down my neck.

Heat rushes across my skin when she kisses the mess away.

We pass the time finishing our meals and me retracing the event at the Shadow Isles to her. My words fall forgotten from my lips when she rises to put away the trays, the skirt of the dress pushed up farther than she realizes. I unconsciously lip my lips.

"Cupcake." I mutter out before I can stop myself.

Trapped, unable to touch. I hate my gloves.

She turns, having set the trays on the counter. A smile adorns her face, her hands on my gloves once more.

"Let's find a way to get these off, shall we?" She teases, a glint in her eyes showing that she knows exactly what I am craving.

We both let out a gasp when my hands are freed.


	14. Memory 4

First day on the job and I'm a mess. I swear it's her fault.

I can't sleep the night before; I spend a full hour straightening out my outfit, double and triple checking my gauntlets and my armor.

Caitlyn has the look of utter surprise when she walks into her office and finds me already seated at her desk. It might've been because I was fiddling with her desk ornaments or the fact I had arrive before she had.

I quickly drop the glass sculpture of a cat and grin sheepishly at her; my hand instinctively rubbing the back of my head. The foreign feeling of unease mixed in with an eagerness to impress wallows in my chest.

"I take it that you're ready to head out." She comments, her voice even and commanding, its different from how she talked to me when we walked. I feel pity for her when I notice how measured and stiff her movements are.

The feeling is thrown into the cauldron of emotions brewing in my chest.

The streets are sparsely populated that morning, it was far too early for the usual day shift to begin and the night shift had already left for home an hour earlier. Those still out were mostly shopkeepers of 24 hour stores, half of them half sleep waiting for the day shift to arrive.

Time passes slowly, occupied by the sheriff telling me what to look for and how to arrest people. It takes two sentences for me to get lost in her voice and forget every word she tells me. When the time finally does come for the day shift to start commuting, I find myself disgusted with the sheer lack of people who walk the street.

Traffic backs up the roads, I see children in their fancy academy uniforms sitting in the cars, eyes glued on the screen in front of them. We reach the end of a street before a car can even get halfway. If this were the lower city, everyone would ready be at work, busy earning a living rather than burn it sitting in a metal can.

"Vi."

My name snaps me out of my daze; I turn back, seeing her standing expectedly on the steps of the station. I hadn't even realized that we did our full patrol and arrived back at headquarters. I follow her in pushing past the bustling mass of officers just arriving at the office to being their day.

I feel their looks of disgust burning into my back and even my face. I sneer back, my fingers itching for a fight after the uneventful patrol. A shout cuts through the air, catching the attention of us. One of the officers has half his body jutting out of his office, his arm gesturing wildly for her to come over. She glances to me, telling me to wait for her as she took care of some business.

The second the door shuts behind her, I find myself surrounded by the entire office of police. The stench of them hangs in the air.

_Fucking uppercity pigs_

A shove hits my shoulder; it barely moves me as I turn to face the offender. The sight of his clean-cut face sends the cauldron into a steady boil.

"You're nothing but street trash."

"You better not turn her into some lesbo, fucking fag." Their uppercity accents fall flat compared to Caitlyn's.

My bare fist connects with his face before he can hear my growl; Caitlyn had made me secure my gauntlets onto my power pack once we entered the building. I blink; the barrel of his gun is leveled at my face. It is not the first time I've found myself in a situation like this.

"Down, dog. I don't want to tell the sheriff I had to put down her new pet out of self-defense." His sarcasm drips like the blood that pours from his broken nose.

I grind teeth, ducking low and pulling back for a second hit. The bullet bites into my shoulder the moment my cupped hand slaps against his left ear. His scream tells me that our pain is equal. Shouts erupt around us, the rest of the force rushing to his side as he clutches the side of his head, fresh blood trickling through his fingers.

All is quiet when the officer door slams open and the sheriff steps out.

He is led away to the infirmary, the look of satisfaction on his face when I led to Caitlyn's office.

I hang my head in shame, guilt overpowering the cauldron in my chest. I don't even flinch when she goes to dig the bullet out of my shoulder; though I didn't have my blast shield up, my should plate slowed the point blank projectile enough so her forceps didn't have to go too deep.

No words are exchanged when she finishes and rubs some healing salve onto the wound, the rubber of her gloves spreading the warming gel onto my skin. She finishes and returns to her desk, rummaging through one of the drawers.

I prepare myself to be arrested and thrown into jail.

She stands in front of me and picks up one of my hands.

"Thank you."

A badge is placed into the palm of my hand, its cool, metal face shocking me as much as her words. I'm left dumbfounded but with a warm feeling in my heart, she leaves the office to speak with the rest of the force.

The cauldron is stirred once more.


	15. Memory 7 (Lemon)

Movement rouses me from my sleep. Coherent thoughts are hard to come by with drowsiness clouding my mind. This isn't my bed; it doesn't smell like motor grease. The sheets are too soft…and there's a person in my arms.

_Fuck_

My eyes shoot open, sudden clarity reigns in my head and panic revolts in my heart. I am faced with the sleeping expression Caitlyn, my fucking boss.

I refrain from jumping out of the bed and do my best to recall the events of last night. Drinks, beat the living shit out of Darius, flat, bed, lips.

My heart reaches its peak before a wave of relief washes over m. Nothing happened, I didn't let anything happen. I can't decide whether to praise myself or curse myself.

The shifting of the body in my arms pulls me from my thoughts, her face worming itself into the crook of my neck. She settles and goes back to breathing.

_Haaaaa fuck fuck fuuuuck_

My hands grip the sheets behind her, her warm puffs of air gliding past my neck and down my shirt, heart my already sensitive skin. I can't take it anymore.

"Cait, wake up." I shake her; she grips tighter, her face pressing into my body. More breathes more warmth.

"Please" I nearly moan out, my head swimming with the sensation. I can feel her smile against my skin.

She lifts her head, still smiling. Is that pride in her eyes?

"What? Why are you looking at me like I just won the Heim-Tech Prize?" I ask, the haze leaving my mind replaced my confusion. Shouldn't she be hung over beyond shit considering how drunk she was last night?

"You're adorable when you're flustered."

What? Adorable, did she just call me adorable?

Warm hands slide up my sides, bring a halt to the train of thought.

"Woah, let's talk about this first." It's no me, she makes me not act like me. I don't want anything more in the world than to take her then and there; I had wanted it even harder last night. But I can't, not her, not like this.

"No need to talk." She reaches underneath her pillow and pulls out two morning mints; curious little inventions designed to rid a mouth of morning breath in seconds.

I wonder if that's where she usually stores them or that she had planned this night all out.

In a moment, our mouths are locked; her tongue pushes one of the mints into my mouth. I let out a throaty groan, one palm pressed against the back of my head and the other scrapping down my back. My own hands find themselves combing through her hair, the thick curls like silk.

Nails scrap against scalps, we both moan into the kiss.

When we part, I can see a devious glint in her hazel eyes. Pieces start to fall together, I should've expected as much.

"I'm proud of you for last night." She smiles again, controlled, planned, just like Caitlyn.

"Oh you fucking, fucking tease." I growl out with a grin of my own. She thrives on schedules and plans, always staying a step ahead, nothing catches her off guard. I feel a slight prick of betrayal by how she played me, but it gets lost the second she kisses me again.

"You're not a light weight."

"No, sweetheart, being sheriff entails ceremonies; lots of ceremonies where alcohol is the key to surviving through each of them. "

I've never seen the sly side of Cait, it makes me love her even more. I decide to play a game of my own.

I stroke the back of her head, trailing soft kisses down her neck. I can feel her pulse quicken when she tilts her head back. Her scent is intoxicating.

"So what did you expect from me, last night?" I tease her, sucking gently on her pulse. "That I take you, in my drunken stupor, on the bed, sheets tangled at our feet."

I let my teeth graze against the spot I had been tending to, soothing the red mark with my tongue. Soft sounds reverberate out of her throat.

"Or not even that. Perhaps against the wall of your flat, your back pressed against the cool surface, my fingers tracing up your legs." I drag my nails against her inner thighs, punctuating my words with my touch. I can see her eyes shut, mouth slightly parts with a gasp.

"Or even in the bar. When you stole my Noxian Firebile; bent over the counter, with everyone watching." It's a risk; I don't know how she'll react to this kind of play.

They deep moan I am rewarded with tells me that I'm right. I love being right.

She tries her best to stifle the sounds pouring from her mouth but to no avail. Fingers trace lazy patterns on her thighs, my rough hands gripping into her soft body. My mouth follows my touches, massaging and leaving a path of reddening marks on her pale skin. Her undergarments are thin and incredible soaked, I smirk against her heated skin.

"What if that's what you wanted the whole night, you naughty girl. You brain alight with alcohol, the music in the lounge pounding in your chest." My lips are beside her ear. "All those people watching as I fuck you senseless."

Our eyes lock at the last word and I slide my fingers in, curling them slightly. Affection pours from every movement I make, watching her with half lidded eyes as I slide my fingers in and out. Her moans are breathy in my ear.

I begin the pace, fitting my body up against hers as I thrust my digits, her hips grinding to meet my hand. Her hands grip blindly, moving from my hair down to my shirt. I hear the tearing of cloth and my shirt falls away, but I continue my relentless pursuit.

My body fits flush against hers; I pull her dress down and take one of her stiff nipples into my mouth, rolling my tongue across it. Her arms wrap around me, nails racking along my back, hands digging in to find a grip. I don't even register the pain, my teeth working their way up her chest and back onto her neck. She quivers under my touch, pants getting shallower and faster. A whimper is freed when I latch onto her throat and suck as hard as I can.

"You like it rough, don't you sheriff," I taunt into her neck, hot breathe ghosting over the angry red mark. "So pristine, so perfect. To be reduced to muttering putty under my touch. She cries out, digging her nails deeps, I can feel blood trickling down my skin.

"Vi, fuck…Vi!" She barely makes the words out, I quicken my pace, biting down hard enough to draw blood. Her legs clench around me, my hand continues pumping, a scream is ripped from her lungs.

Moments pass and she relaxes into the sheets, the only sound left in the room is the both of us catching our breaths, our minds catching up on what just happened.

Soft hands cup my face, bringing it for a slow kiss. It warms my heart better than any firewater can. I graze deep into her eyes; they were once so piercing, so mechanical in the office, now human and compassionate. I long for her to stay that way.

"You are absolutely incredible, Vi." She whispers, her voice still airy and ever so maddening with her accent.

I wordless smile and kiss her again. It was a perfect morning. I can feel her hands roam downward, sliding underneath my shorts.

There is a chiming in my head.

"Vi, you are being summoned for a match, please report to the summoning platform in 10 minutes."

Caitlyn's hands pull back and we both let out an irritated groan. I know she has gotten the same message.

"Oh the joys of free week. " I grumble out, rolling off of her and searching for the remnants of my outfits.

It didn't matter much; they would just slap a skin on me the second I got onto the fields. I remember a time Miss Fortune showed up at the platform completely nude because she was angry about being summoned in the middle of a bath. It was quite a sight to behold.

Caitlyn puts a quick kiss on the corner of my lips, a sly grin on her face. "I'll make it up to you later."

She winks

I smile

_Pure Bliss_


	16. Memory 2

_It all happened so fast_

My fist never connected, no blood was spilt from her veins. She was untouchable with those traps and that damned net of hers.

I sit, defeated, leaning against the wall of old lady Boyle's section. My left foot had a metal trap clamped tightly on it and a heavy net wrapped around my legs. I look up to her, mind slightly swimming from the sedative.

"I'm surprised you're still awake." She sounds impressed as she knells down to eye level with me.

I run my hand through my hair, meeting her gaze with a smirk. "Takes a lot to knock out this girl." She doesn't look amused by my humor.

The sheriff extends her hand, I blink in surprise.

_What?_

"My offer still stands."

My eyes narrow dangerously, there is no such thing as a free lunch, but this woman. She shows up, unarmed with nothing but a few traps and a net launcher, tells her back up to stand down, and somehow relocates some 200 people just to offer me a job.

_I'm flattered_

"Where is the rest of warehouse 10C?" I ask, if she hurt my people.

"They've all been invited to an mandatory, impromptu Mayor Mitchii's dinner, funded by the uppercity mayor himself. They are all safe, enjoying a night of good food and entertainment."

_All this trouble…_

"Why? Why me, all this shit for a single person?" I try to make sense of it, to see the logic behind her decision.

The metal trap releases from my foot with a resounding clank, reminding me of how quiet the warehouse was when it was empty. I rub over the spot, feeling the beginnings of a nasty bruise.

"You're an anomaly, Ms. Vi." She admits, I wrinkle my nose at the way she speaks my name. "I'm been watching you, no doubt you've noticed. You have every little to give other than kindness and the services you provide with your gauntlets." She sounds like she's never seen a decent human being before. "You risk your life for the people of the lowercity more times than anyone I've seen on my police force. You punish the criminals, albeit harshly, and care for the victims, there is no fame, no reward that you do this for; nothing but the satisfaction of helping others."

The last of her words come out as a whisper but swell my heart as if she had spoken them to the entire city of Piltover. I try to keep a straight face. But she keeps looking into my eyes, eyes full of admiration. I never occurred to me the impact of what I do. I beat up bad guys and give the stuff back to whoever they stole it from, it was as simple as that.

_The fact that doing the right thing was something to be admired was what really amazed me. _

I slip the leather glove off my hand and grasp hers, giving it a firm shake. I smile

"On one condition." I keep my hand tight and look seriously at her. "I work for you, with you, and only you."

_Respect_

The sheriff does not even take time to think about it and smiles back, reaffirming the handshake. "Sure thing, partner."

_I like the sound of that. _


	17. Memory 23

"And with that, I would like to call Piltover's Head Sheriff, Caitlyn, to the stage"

The mayor concludes his speech, my ears finally tuning in the moment he calls her name. The crowd erupts with a deadening cheer. She glides up the short flight of stairs to the stage, her face shining with confidence and not a hair out of place. My chest swells with pride and I enthusiastically clap for her, the leather of my gloves dulling the sound.

_Time is a coming_

"Thank you Mayor Alvin, and thank you all for attending this year's Piltover Police Ball." Her voice barely needs a microphone to lift high above the claps that follow.

She continues with her rehearsed speech, the one she had practiced in front of me so many times. I grin when everyone laughs at the joke she cracks, the joke I told her to put in. her eyes lock with mine as she tells it; I give her a nod of approval. She looks so much more relaxed than the first time I watched her at the ball.

As the crowd quiets down and she continues her speech, I look over to my left and spot Jayce and Ezreal still seated at our table. The pipsqueak gives me a thumbs up and mouths the words "good one" while hammerhead gives me a two-finger salute. He mouths the words "good luck" and they both return their attention back to the front. They seem happy.

_They know what's coming. _

I follow their lead and watch as Caitlyn finishes her speech, the audience giving her another round of applause. Her eyes are tethered to mine, even from this distance, I can see that she is still drawing confidence from me, and I from her.

_We are both scared._

The hall is dead silent when she calls me to the stage, I can sense a mixture of reactions at the sound of my name. There are still those who hate me after all these years. The silence is filled with the thudding of my heart. With every step, it soars higher and higher into my throat, pounding harder and harder. The skin of my hands grinds uncomfortably against the inside of my gloves; they ball as tight as they can; a habit when I'm stressed.

_Calm _

_Society _

_Break their expectations_

I reach her, stopping only two feet from her beauty. The stage light illuminates her from every angle from where I stand; like an angel. My Angel. The clock chimes behind me, matching the beat of my heart.

_Time has arrived_

"It has been four years since I have had the pleasure of recruiting Vi to the Piltover police force. She has shown immense progress in seeking out and apprehending criminals both here in the uppercity and in the streets of the lower city as well."

A few stray murmurs ripple over the crowd. We had kept my activities in the lowercity on the down low, the patrols down there usually going to more inexperienced and less "proper" officers unfit to patrol the roads of the uppercity. I do my best to hold back a sneer.

"On the plus side, it has been a full two months since the last report of unnecessary property damage." She does her best to lighten the mood. About half of the crowd joins in with a chuckle; the other half still looks at me with discontent. I don't pay heed to them; it's not my job to make them happy with me.

It still pains me to realize that all the work I've put into the force, only half of them respect me. If the other half were to disappear, I would feel so at home, so accepted, like how I do back at Warehouse 6V, which they renamed in honor of me. That little change made me feel better than anyone in the uppercity could; anyone but her.

"It is with great pride that I present you with the award of Officer of the Year."

Not many from the crowd clap, even fewer rise as she walks over to pin the medal to my lapel. A glance out and I can name every single person who stands and smiles at me, it warms my heart that at least some of them care. But most importantly, I turn back to the only smile that matter at the moment, to Caitlyn; her gentle touch lingering on my chest.

_I swear she can feel my pounding heart._

Anticipation chokes my throat as I await her hand to clasp around mine, to show the pigs of the uppercity that their rules no longer reign supreme, that a new sheriff is in town. My hands quiver; I can sense my gauntlets skittering impatiently behind the stage.

_We will be the spark that ignites change in Piltover_

I stare at here expectedly, but the look she gives me sends my heart plummeting to the pit of my stomach. A hand goes to the pocket of her dress and the other motions for the audience to hush.

"I have another announcement to make."

Her voice is even, calm, devoid of emotion. She is in her safe zone now, like a turtle in its shell, a mask presented to the world. My eyes shift from between her face and the patrons, all of them seated except for Jayce and Ezreal, who stand with their hands behind their backs.

My face jerks to my right, fingers wrapping around the palm of my left hand. A hushed gasp spreads through the people as she slides the glove off, revealing the violet, leathery skin beneath. This is the first time anyone, even the two fairies, have seen my hands after the incident.

A thumb runs across the dull surface, splotches of black and purple mar my skin. I turn away, tears pricking at my eyes, disgusted with the sight of her perfect hands beside my scarred ones. I try to grapple with what she is planning to do next.

_Cupcake, what the fuck are you doing_

"Vi, I have known you for a totally of four and a half years and you are the most passionate, caring person I have ever met. What started out as a investigation of a vigilante turned into the recruitment of Piltover's great enforcer."

She continues to hold her hand, warm fingers pressing into my skin. A reassuring squeeze does little to soothe my rising panic.

"and for three of those years, you have been the love of my life."

The reaction is instantaneous, heads turn to each other, murmurs breaking out, not even bothering with hushing their words. Jayce and Ezreal still stand tall, their eyes glued to the stage and eyes shining in the light. For the longest eternity, I cannot tell whether the crowd is louder or the pounding of my heart.

"I know I have lied." her words cuts through the chaos and silence falls again, they all want to hear what their beloved sheriff has to say for herself. "For those who have attended the last two balls, I have claimed Jayce as my date and lover."

The whole audience shifts their gaze to the two standing men; I am impressed by their ability to keep a firm face at a time like this. My hand relaxes in her grip, the worst part is over.

"But going beyond this revelation."

_What. Cupcake, what are you doing?_

She turns to me, no longer speaking to the crowd, to society, to the people who had ruled her entire life. She is speaking to me and looking deep into my eyes. I forget about the people around us, I am alone with her, in her bedroom. Our hands don't leave one another.

"I cannot picture myself living without you. The worry I felt, the fear that I would lose to forever during those six days after the incident. When we had no idea if you would ever wake up, or if you'd even be the same after you did; they were hell for me, Vi."

My heart tightens, twisting in impossible shapes. I bring her close, my right hand retrieving the handkerchief of my breast pocket. She accepts it and wipes the tears that run down her face. A smile blossoms from beneath them.

"Vi, you brought out of me someone I never knew I could be. You opened my eyes to a world of wonder, and excitement where winging it on the fly can be just as good as planning it hours ahead, to a world of genuine kindness to those around us without thinking about reward or thanks. I would've never in my life have thought of putting a joke into my sheriff speech if it weren't for you." Her eyes dart away for a moment as she tries to compose herself.

"You are my life, my happiness, my love. And I ask you here today."

_No_

_Fucking_

_Way_

My brain shuts down; I lose feeling in my hands and mouth. Sparks dance up my arm and throughout my entire body. She gets down on one knee, pulling a ring with a purple tinted gem shimmering in the light.

The world stops

The room is silent

The clock chimes again.

"Vi, will you marry me?"


	18. Memory 30

"I don't like this."

I mutter, stomping through a pile of broken glass that Cait had stepped around. She turns back to glare at me before we carry on our trek to the heart of the building.

The evacuated machine shop was alive with the hum of the factory machines that were left on when the workers were taken hostage. Still, it was a stark contrast compared to the sirens and commotion just outside the blast doors. They had sent out all the hostages except for the head of the factory, who they claimed they would kill if they were not granted private audience with "the false sheriff and her lap dog."

_I'm going to beat in the face of whoever wrote that note._

My gloves chirp to each other, sensing the upcoming excitement and challenging each other to whoever gets to send my most souls to mother. It chills me how much I can understand them now, as if their thoughts are my own. They turn on me, accusing me of being bias on which hand I use to deal a killing blow.

"Shut up, you two, now's not the time." I growl out, they fall quiet.

I catch Caitlyn looking back at me again, this time, worry fills her hazel eyes. It was only about two months since the Shadow Isles and I could tell she was skeptical about my ability to return to duty.

My gloves kept _itching_, kept whispering to me to find things to kill, to find tribute for mother. It was hard to focus; I resigned to simply following into Cait's footsteps to avoid making too much noise.

_Burning_

_Choking_

_Begging for blood_

The hall opened up to a trashed storage room, almost all the boxes were thrown from their shelves and smashed open. Their contents were nowhere to be seen. The smell of blood lingers in the air, the sight of the roughed up hostages flashes in my mind. The gloves tingle, the air vibrates.

_Fun time_

"Heads up boys!" A deep voice booms, rattling the crane equipment above us. Something kills the lights and the room is plunged into darkness.

It takes a couple of moment for my vision to adjust but I can see Caitlyn struggling to keep her composure. There's no cover, no high ground, no sight, it is far out of her comfort zone.

"Stay close, Cupcake." I gently pull her towards me, her body tense under the touch of my gauntlets. She steps blindly with my guidance, her full trust placed into me in that moment.

They pop up like fucking groundhogs, their eyes shining like Master Yi's; night vision goggles, perhaps stolen from the smashed crates.

_Was this planned?_

It didn't matter now, it's Cait's job to figure that part out, my job to get rid of the threat. Their clothing is mismatched, no uniform or professional equipment, they're no more than simple mercenaries who stumbled across a good advantage.

"Get down." I grind out before shoving her to the ground, my body wrapped around her. The air above us whistles with some sort of projectiles, they move far too fast to be thrown but the lack of gunfire tells me they're not bullets

_Who the fuck are these people?_

We lay on the cold cement floor, my mind speeding to formulate a battle plan. I can hear their footsteps as they reposition, they out number us 10 to 1. My eyes shut close, a trick I learned on the streets. Senses hone, ears prick, I try to pick out some sort of weakness

_There_, on the left, slight limp, heavy breathing, easy target; injured, perhaps when they were restraining the workers.

_Survive_

_Destroy_

_Kill_

It seems the master mind was relying on the impression of large numbers rather than quality soldiers.

_More fun for me._

Some sneaking and a puddle of blood later, I boost her onto one of the empty shelves, watching her adjust the stolen pair of night goggles before giving me a thumbs up. I grin and return the gesture, glad to know that she is back in a position she is comfortable with.

I drop back to the ground, my gauntlets rippling across my hands. The thugs peek over there hiding spots, a few of them coming towards me with some kind of device strapped to their arm.

_Kill_

_Tribute_

I take them all out quickly with Caitlyn shooting down those who managed to sneak around me. Where I would normal just cripple them and let the medics patch them up, I now tear them apart, relishing in their screams of panic and death. I forget the parameters of the situation and lose myself to the carnage. I grin in amusement, my gloves humming along with me, it is the only sound left in the dark, quiet room.

"Nice shot, Cupcake." I call out, turning to her ledge.

It's empty

No, no that can't be. I would've notice if she was taken, she would've called out. What if she's messing with me? No, Caitlyn never plays around, let alone on the job.

"Caitlyn?!" I call out again, my eyes narrowing and anger boiling in my veins. I leap from shelf to shelf, scouring every nook for her, leaping from ledge to ledge like a crazed animal.

"Heel, dog, your master is safe with us."

Taunting

Angry

_Kill_

The lights blast on, flooding and blinding, I don't even flinch. My scowl drops for a second when the extent of my excursion is revealed. Crushed and torn bodies carpet the ground, not a single patch of clean concrete remains. All of them lay still.

I am torn between disgust and satisfaction.

Roach drop from the ceiling, these bare uniforms with an emblem I am very familiar with; a hammer and sickle surrounded by a red gear. They group in formation; they know my fighting style and are well prepared to deal with me. I count fifteen of them around me. I snarl at their masked faces.

"Where the fuck is Caitlyn?!"

Metal double doors slam open, catching my attention. I clench my fists tighter, they buzz and glow, my anger fuels them.

"You know, you really should ask before you take something of mine." He is a tall bald man, a single augmented eye implanted in his right socket, a gift from me when I chose to leave him at the mines.

In his arms is Caitlyn, stumbling with every step. The night goggles now glowing red. He holds a simple pistol in his large hands. I recognize it as Caitlyn's sidearm.

"It's not nice to steal, is it sheriff?" He jerks her close, the goggles spark with electricity, eliciting a yelp of pain from her bruised lips. No doubt she can't see me.

"Isn't this what you wanted, Vi? To have those uppercity pigs groveling at our feet. It was your dream, kid, to get rid of the uppercity and the lowercity, to have an equal Piltover for all." His words are warm at first, as if he is recalling a fond memory. My anger dies as I remember my past life with them; my family.

_Klauf_

"But no! She ruined you. You lost sight of your dream. She turned you into a capitalist pig, content with letting the people of the lowercity rot. Where is the Vi I raised, the Vi I used to know and love, WHERE IS SHE!" He screams, he sounds genuinely hurt. My heart throbs with pity; I thought cutting my ties with them was for the best.

He was my father

My brother

My mentor

_Was_

And now he is my enemy

"I know she's still in there, you know the right thing to do, kid." He slides the pistol to me, it stops at my feet. My hands twitch.

"No one will stand in our way with her gone. Together, we can fight for a better Piltover. No one will have to suffer in the lowercity anymore; no one will feel the sting of poverty. Vi, be the spark that ignites change in Piltover."

I stand frozen, my gauntlets drop from my hands. I can't, she's my love, I can't kill her. Memories of my life in the lowercity flash back to me, forced to eat scraps with the uppercity dined on caviar. When no police heeded our calls and half of my family was killed trying to defend a school from a gang "recruitment".

We became the police of the lowercity, doing our best to keep order where none was to be found, We were seen as heroes. The raid on the mine was just a step towards buying better equipment to protect the weak. We are the righteous ones; the police left us for dead. It wasn't fair.

_It's never fair_

The cold steel feels foreign against my leathery skin. It had been years since I've handled a firearm. I glance up; Klauf grins and pulls the goggles off of her face. Her eyes widen at the sight of me. She refuses to cry, to give them the satisfaction. I my hands tighten around the pistol.

_Survive_

_Destroy_

_Kill_


	19. Memory 18

_Bzzzzzz Bzzzzzz Bzzzz_

_Annoying_

_Bzzzzz_

"Stop it." I murmur, my head swimming, dizzy, its warm, soft blanket.

"Come on Vi, time for your medicine."

Soft voice

Soft hands

Gentle.

Dim lights, drawn curtains, sore throat, it feels like I've taken a rocket to the chest. I grip the sheets and turn away from the prodding hand. A splash of warm water spills onto my neck. I open my eyes and see a silhouette, long hair, smell of lavender.

_Oh Caitlyn_

"Hey there Cupcake, whaddya doing in my room." I slur out, tongue barely cooperating. I nuzzle my face against her closeed hand. She lets out a sigh.

"You need to take your medicine." She sounds so sad; I just want to just hug her. I try to bring my hand up, they seem heavier than usual.

_Too tired to care_

"Medicine? I feel fine, just a little hangover, I'll be up destroying things in a bit."

"Vi." I gaze up, my energy draining. She's on the verge of tears.

_I don't understand_

"Why are you crying, love? Is there someone I need to beat up?"

My eyes flutter now, I pour all my focus into just staying awake to hear her answer. Out of the corner of my eyes I see her throw the pill into her mouth and take a gulp of water.

"What are you doing, you're not sick."

I blink, brief darkness.

Warm lips

Water

My eyes flicker open; her lips encase mine as a rush of water flows down my throat.

Mind

Gears

_Click_

"That was smart, Cupcake." I smile, my head falling back onto the pillow. I stay awake for a few more moment through the force of sheer will power, seeing Caitlyn toss the plastic packet into the rubbish bin. I spot five unopened ones on the nightstand.

"So…smart."

Weak words

So tired

_Sleep_

Darkness

Inspiration: post/79536082713/damn-the-last-one-was-inspiring-could-you-do-caitlyn


	20. Memory 35

The corridors are familiar, like an old home or a well-traveled alleyway. I let out a breath, my heart doing its best to calm down from the shift. I never got used to the magic of the summoners.

A low hum invades my brain, pushing out all other thoughts. It stays, gnawing, whispering murderous incantations.

Cahnting

Haunting

_Kill _

_Destroy_

_Tribute_

"Stop!"

_It never helps_

The gauntlets come off with a good amount of work, they are becoming harder and harder to remove. I feel naked and exposed when I don't have them on. I stare at them as they follow me through the corridors, skittering across the ground.

The aching is immediate; my hands throb without the gauntlets on. I steel myself and push on, palming the vision ward in my pocket. I have to find it, to destroy it.

The gloves screech in protest the second the though crosses my mind. They won't let me harm mother.

The air shifts and I can hear them, their footsteps falling lightly on the stone floor. My heart leaps.

_I don't want to hurt anyone. No more blood._

_So much blood_

The hum grows.

_Consume_

_Kill_

_Destroy_

_Kill_

_Adapt_

_Protect mother_

I can't take it, I my will power is fading, I should've never agreed to come back.

_Oh Caitlyn_

Her name alone strengthens my resolve. Do it for her, to protect her, keep her from this place. I struggle to keep upright, my feet unconsciously lead me back to the chamber where the nightmare began.

_Tic_

_Tic_

_Tic_

Gloves trailing, patrolling, protecting.

"Vi!"

_Vayne_

She knows, she wants to kill me, they all want to kill me and destroy mother. No rest for the wicked.

_NO! I won't, no more death, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore._

I stop at the entrance to the room with the bubbling pit of tar, noxious fumes and lightening ejecting from the sludge. This is where it all began, where I became an instrument of the Shadow Isles.

My hands burn, they pulse, they need the protection of the gloves. My hands and the gloves are one, they love each other.

_Who am I to keep them apart. _


	21. Memory 24

The crowd is dead silent, the clock finishes its chiming, the air is like a blanket of suffocation.

I stare; lost for words, lost for emotions, lost in her mesmerizing eyes. The ring gleams under the lights, shining as gently as her smile.

_It never falters_

She takes my limp left hand, her hands are warm.

_Oh so warm_

The ring slides on perfectly.

"Yes. Oh god yes." I finally choke out, my mouth pulls back with a smile that I cannot control, nor do I want to control.

Out of pure joy, I lift her up into the air, her hair flowing through the air. We share a laugh. No cares, No worries.

_Society_

_Expectation_

_They can go fuck themselves_

The world is left forgotten. I lower my love down slightly, her hands brace either side of my face. She is cry, her tears match my own.

Liquid joy

Our lips connect and I don't want to ever let go. It feels so perfect, so right, like heaven. My angel has arrived.

It isn't until we part when we hear the lone clapping of two. We glance to the audience and see the pair still standing, now with grins on their faces. Their hands sing songs of congratulations.

_It's all that I need to hear_

The rest are slow to join in, those who had clapped for me earlier now give us a standing ovation, and some of them wear knowing smiles on their faces. Many, however, quickly leave the room without a second look. They are all old farts who can't stand change. I spot the mayor among, my grin grows even wider.

_I bet they reek of uppercity pigs_

Red roses begin to rain us one, their stems wet from the water in the vase they were placed in. Soon, all the tables are devoid of their centerpieces, the flowers surrounding our feet. Hold holds onto my left have, her fingers intertwining with mine. The ring feels foreign but welcome.

I smile and lean in for a second kiss and she complies, her painted lips soft. We lean our foreheads on each other and drink in the moment our world was torn down and a new one was just being built. But I am content with knowing that this moment has happened.

_Perfection_


	22. Memory 19

_Bzzzzzz Bzzzzzz Bzzzz_

_Annoying_

_Bzzzzz_

"Stop it." I murmur, my head swimming, dizzy, its warm, soft blanket.

"Come on Vi, last pill."

Soft voice

Soft hands

Gentle.

I groan, why Cait? Let me sleep

The table is empty save for a glass of water, torn packets peek out of the rubbish bin. She looks tired, worried. I want to hold her but my arms are heavy. I can't move them.

_Too tired, don't care._

Kiss

Water

Swallow

"That was smart, Cupcake." I smile, my head falling back onto the pillow

"So…smart."

Weak words

So tired

_Sleep_

I feel a tear hit my cheek before darkness embraces me


	23. Memory 31

_Shoot her….they want me to shoot my wife?_

_They're crazy_

_Klauf or not, fuck Piltover, I don't need them, all I need is Caitlyn._

My aim is terrible; I do my best to level the shaking pistol with the grinning head of my once friend. My heart steels itself and I pull the trigger. It fires, the kick is the strangest sensation I have ever felt. But he still stands

A blank

"If that's how it's gonna be, kid." His face drops, shoving Caitlyn helplessly to the ground, revealing her bound wrists behind her back.

I hit the ground like a truck.

The world spins around me, spots of darkness filling my vision. Remnants of electricity still course to my body, without my gauntlets, my blast shield is only running at 30% capacity. I struggle to keep awake when another shock rushes through me, I can feel the powerpack on my back short-circuit and explode with the overload, singing the back of my neck. My shields go completely offline.

I grit my teeth and force my muscles to respond.

They refuse my demands.

_Survive_

_Destroy_

_Kill_

_Revenge_

"I'm sorry this has to happen, Vi. I truly am. It was a shame to watch you fall down so low to join these pigs, but a new Piltover cannot wait for slow change. We will be that change. Starting with her."

_Please, move_

His rough hands pull her up into a sitting position. He takes out another pistol and presses it against her left shoulder, grinning the whole way. The shot is deafening.

Our screams are louder.

"CAITLYN!"

Her scream tears my heart apart; she slumps to the ground in a pool of her own blood. I can see her chest shudder with every breath. The shot is not fatal, but aimed to cause as much pain as possible. It's not the first time I've see Klauf use it.

My hands twitch, feeling returning to my fried nerves. I grin.

_Time is a fucking coming_

"What's so funny? You want me to destroy her other arm too?" He taunts, over confident with himself.

A shriek rings out; the sound of snapping bone catches all of our ears. Excitement flows through my arms, my brain tingles. I see red.

I can feel my gloves as they squeeze the life out of two thugs; the bullet proof vests they wear offer little protection against the crushing power of my gauntlets. They chirp incessantly, keeping track of how many souls they've freed. I close my eyes and send them a single request.

_Protect Caitlyn_

Their response is instantaneous and violent.

They scamper towards her, leaving behind intricate patterns of blood. The mercenaries back away from Klauf, eyes wide with fear.

"Don't just stand there you dimwits, shoot them!"

Their hands fumble with their rifles, two more of them falling to the rampage of the gauntlets. Klauf stumbles back, trying his best to land a shot on the agile gloves. They circle around her prone body, striking at any that come close and shielding her from stray bullets.

With all the attention to them, I jump to my feet, upper cutting the man behind me who was too stunned to react fast enough. Satisfaction washes over me when I dig my fingers into is throat and pull with all my might. Blood gushes out and I drop his convulsing body, eyes searching for my next target.

The smell is intoxicating.

By the time the others realize I'm able to move, it's too late. With my bare hands, I dispatch each one of them as quickly as possible. The feeling is euphoric, as if I had attained my purpose in life. It doubles when the gloves and I both secure a kill at the same time.

_More blood_

_More souls for mother_

I stalk towards Klauf who know stands a good distance away from Caitlyn, his pistol empty and his body quaking. He backs himself into a shelf; I chuckle at how pathetic he looks.

"What the fuck are you?" He sounds scared; his ego lies dead with his men.

"I am a protector and you sir," The gauntlets rush over to me, encasing my bloody hands in their comforting warmth. I lean in close to his ear, letting my breath strike fear into his heart.

"are trespassing."

I let out a laugh and plunge the talons into his midsection, warm blood pours out of the gaping hole. His flesh so warm, so soft, so wet, cascading past my gauntlets like an untamed torrent.

_Tribute_

_Revenge_

_Oh sweet revenge my comrade_

I twist and rip each of his limbs out of their socket with childish glee. I am a monster toying with its prey, I can sense his soul slipping, death is close. The air chills.

"Not yet pretty boy." I don't know why, but he cannot die now, he doesn't deserve to die now.

My gauntlets pulse with a green light, flowing into his limbless body. Warmth leaves my hands and into his, I can feel my own life ebb away with the strain.

_It's worth it._

His eye shoots open, his mouth agape with a scream. He sings the song of my people.

I wrap my gauntlets around his torn torso and slowly close them. Every inch snaps another bone; every bone making him hit a higher note.

_He sounds like a bag of wet chips. _

A thought crosses my mind and I'm taken back to the dance Caitlyn and I shared after the proposal, I can see her shimmering dress and the ballroom floor. A crowd gathered around us as the band begins their piece.

With a bow, i lift him into the air and begin to waltz, his singing all the music I need. The music guides my feet, I remember the endless coaching she had given me on dancing to prepare me for the ball. His blood still flows to the ground, painting a masterpiece and christening his comrades for their last journey to the Shadow Isles.

The music slows and fades into silence. I bow once more and set him to the floor.

_He dances well_

"Vi?..."

_Cupcake?_

The vision fades and I find myself back at the storage room, uniform soaked in blood and feet turning entrails into mush. My grin falls; I search for the weak voice. Panic revisits my heart.

_Where is she_?

"Vi…down here."

I look back and see her propped up on the remnants of a crate and surrounded her blood. There is another bullet wound to her stomach. Her eyes are half lidded; her skin is pale with the loss of blood. I can feel her slipping.

"no no no no no, don't you dare Cait." I dive to her side, unsure of what to do.

"Hang in there." I conjure up whatever had kept Klauf alive, the gloves glow green once more, this time stronger. I grunt at the excursion, my sight growing dim.

Careful not to injure her, I press my hands to both her wounds and focus. The energy leaves my body with a surge, taking my breath with it. I struggle to keep it up until I feel her stabilize, her breaths no longer ragged and forced. My lungs shake with every huff of air. I pull away; her skin smooth and untouched.

I break her bonds and remove my gauntlets, cradling her trembling body in my arms. She stares up at me; we are both at a loss of words. My eyes slide closed.

The regret I feel overcomes me.

Footsteps finally reach us. They stop in their tracks at the entrance to the room, no doubt abhorred by the sight of my work. I look down at Cait, hoping for an answer or anything.

She wears an emotionless mask to answer my plea.

_What have I done_


	24. Memory 26 Lemon

"Vi!"

My eyes snap open.

My gasp is cut short when something soft hits my face hard. I let out a groan, a chuckle resounding above me.

"I'm up, I'm up." I grin into the pillow, amused by her antics.

_What a nice morning_

Darkness recedes from my vision, the sun streaming through the opened curtains. The Piltover skyline makes a terrific backdrop to the illuminated figure crouched over me.

_My love_

"You know you drool ever where when you sleep."

She teases me, leaning down and giving me a kiss on the cheek. Bringing her hand up and she slips a morning mint into my parted lips, the confection working its cooling magic. I can tell she was up a lot early than me, her hair already perfectly brushed and a playful spark in her eyes.

With a small scuffle, I wrestle her into the bed and leer over her, drinking her in.

Her light yellow night gown is rustled up to her thighs, legs smooth and tantalizing. My eyes lazily drag upwards, tracing her curves under the silken cloth and her flawless neck line. I long to mark it with my lips. Her hands intertwine behind my head, pulling me down hard for a kiss.

I comply.

My eyes flutter shut, needy hands pushing the fabric up and sliding up her sides. My lips leave hers and trail down to meet my hands halfway, nipping all the way down. She sighs beneath me, soft sounds of pleasure. I smirk against her collar as she tenses, my finger tracing circles on her taunt stomach.

"Vi" She breathes out as I breathe in her lavender scent.

I lift my face for a moment, easily sliding her gown up and over her shoulders with her help. I catch myself staring at her as lies half naked beneath me, clad only in panties. I kiss away her coy smile.

_It tastes wonderful_

The sheets scurry out of our way to the edges of the bed, allowing us room to enjoy the morning. She takes my hands, planting a kiss on the ring I wear over the thin leather; a calming touch as she removes the black leather gloves that I always wear now. Only Caitlyn has had the satisfaction of removing my gloves.

_It pains me to see them. _

The mood is not killed however; I have grown accustomed to her stripping me of them every time we are intimate. She tells me that I must learn to live with them, I try my best not to.

Her lips place feathery kisses up the fingers and over the indent which the ring left on my skin, past my shoulder, ending at my lips. My body hovers inches above her, her lips whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I feel undoing the buttons of my night shirt, peeling the cotton away from my heated body.

_My love_

The words dance off my tongue, her touch sending spikes of molten passion to pool in my nether. With a firm push, she turns the tables and straddles my waist. A thin layer of fabric separates her throbbing core from my stomach.

I drink her in as she does to me

A groan leaves my lips, too distracted by her nips to my bare chest to notice her pulling my arms above my head. With a quiet click, it finally dawns on me what she just did.

I move to touch her, to claim her as my own, to offer to her all that I am, but the cuffs keep my arms above my head.

_She's toying with me._

Her fingers lightly graze my skin, not enough to be considered contact. It leaves me yearn for more. All the straining and pulling against the metal bonds does nothing for me but brings a playful smirk to her lips. My hands ache to touch her.

"No so fast, big girl." Her accent drives me mad. She leans over and pulls something from her night stand; it's the sleeping mask she uses when she wants to nap during the day.

"Trust me, it'll feel so much better." She kisses me fully before the world turns black, the elastic securing the cool fabric to my face.

Without vision, my body tingles with anticipation, every nerve scream out when it is touched. I don't have to wait long. She teases me more, nails scraping against my toned abs. I am left quivering, mind unable to think of anything but what she is about to do next.

It is the most exposed I have ever felt

_The thrill exhilarating_

My breath prances just out of my reach.

Another low moan tears itself free from my throat, her hands pressed in my midsection as she rolls one of my nipples in her mouth. I jerk against the bonds, back arched, craving more contact.

"Cait"

I let out, a hand playing with my other breast. Pulling, pinching, teasing touches turn my mind into a muddled mess. I can't take it, I strain harder against the cuffs, and they don't give. She pours her affection into her ministrations, teeth periodically nibbling at my skin.

Her firm stroking set my legs afire, my shorts and undergarments lay forgotten somewhere in the room. I am in disbelief at how much she teases me, no doubt payback for what I did to her last night. She torments me with half touches, circling, pressing and then disappearing altogether.

She has me begging.

_I don't beg for shit_

"Caitlyn, I fucking swear."

I feel her face hovering above me, the heat radiating off her skin. I can practically hear her smirk. I raise my head in an attempt to catch her lips. She pulls back in in time.

"What do you say?"

I bite back the word, turning my head away even though I cannot see. Her hands touch everywhere but where I need her the most.

"Please." I whisper out, my pride failing.

"What was that, love? I didn't quite hear you."

_I am at her mercy_

"Fuck, please Cait, I need you." The moment I admit it, she silences me with her lips.

I'm the one who breaks it, my mouth letting out a cry when her fingers suddenly enter me. I can hear her chuckle before her teeth bite into my neck, scoring a bulls-eye on my tattoo. She steals my breath and refuses to return it.

"Since you asked nicely." She taunts, tongue soothing the spot she had bitten.

I bite my lip, straining to hold back my whimpers. Her fingers thrust in and out, slow at first, and then fast with curled fingers. I can feel her watching me as I unleash a string of curses at the pleasure racking my body. I can see colors frolicking in the darkness of the blindfold.

"Fucking shit, Cait."

The heat builds up; her thumb circles my bundle of nerves, more incomplete curses spill from my lips. Her free hand roams, caressing my hypersensitive skin before tangling themselves into the hair at the nape of my neck. She roughly pulls my head back, lips capturing mine in a searing kiss. Our tongues waltz with each other.

_I can't take it_

With a final moan, I reach my peak, breaking from the kiss and screaming the name of my love. Her mouth silences me again, taking my voice and drinking me in. The orgasm ripples through my body, my body tenses before falling slack against the bonds.

With a click, my arms are freed and my vision is restored. Caitlyn snuggles next to me, a smug grin of satisfaction painted on her face.

"I love you."

I am able to make out, weakly stroking her hair. A pang of disgust flashes in my head at the sight of my hands. She senses my discomfort and catches the limb, kissing it softly.

Tainted

"I love you too." She comforts me and I find myself smiling again.

The cauldron simmers

I move to pay the favor back but she shakes her head, kissing me again. My puzzled face drops when both our stomachs let out a rumble.

"Go shower, I'll make breakfast." I tell her, eyes following as she gets up from the bed.

She saunters to the bathroom, hips swaying in the morning sun. Pausing, she leans against the door frame and looks back at me before disappearing into the bath.

_Perfection_

I trail after her like a lost puppy.

_Breakfast can wait._


	25. Memory 25

"Hiya, plum hands!"

The moment I leave the summoner testing chambers I hear the shrill cry of a Jinx. I groan and turn to her, self-consciously pulling the new leather gloves over my hands.

"Piss off runt." I shout back, making my way back to my room.

It was going to be a long first day back at the league.


	26. Memory 20

_Hazy_

The world feels like it's all underwater, my mind doing its best to tread the water. I can't move, my eyelids are glued shut. I can feel the presence of several people walking away from my body. Soft sniffling causes my ears to prick.

"Sheriff Cailtyn, we've done all we could." His voice is apologetic; I pay no heed to it as I strain to hear my love's voice. "It may be for the best."

"No, don't you dare. She still has a chance." Her grief stricken tone sends my heart through a meat grinder. No matter how much I try, I can't move a muscle.

I feel a buzzing above me, my eyes pried open but I am unable to look around. It's a summoner who passes his nexus shard over my body, its magic scanning my vital signs.

"She is medically brain dead, the pills did nothing to help her; there is nothing keeping her alive but our magic. She might even be in pain, we cannot tell-"

"No means no!" She screams, I feel hands grip onto my arms, tears splashing against my skin.

_Oh Caitlyn_

Heavy silence follows her outburst.

"Now if we're done here, I would like some time alone with her." Her voice drops dangerously low, promising pain if disobeyed. If I could, I would've flinched.

_That's my Cupcake._

The sound of the door shutting ripples through my mind, my hearing returning to normal at the absence of the over saturation of magic in the air. I am still unable to move, her hand brush my cheek, tracing the tattoo.

I can't remember how I came to be here, my mind just draws a blank; the only thing I can focus on is her touch and her words. My hands are heavy, strapped down to something.

_Hopeless_

"Vi, please wake up."

_Helpless_

"Don't leave me"

_Don't cry Cait_

"I need you."

_I'm right here_

"Please"

_Please_

"Vi"

_Cait_

"I love you"

_I love you too._

Everything fades away

I plummet

back

into

darkness.


	27. Memory 10

"Caitlyn, please, I-"

"No Vi, just stop."

It hurts; all of it hurts not just my heart. No amount of brilliance can take the pain away. I run my hand through my hair. The halls of the league were quiet now, the free week champions having already left for home and the new rotation due for the morning. It was just us in the halls of the Piltover wing, a winter wind howling outside the walls.

"I can explain." I plead with her, reaching for her hand. She pulls away, tears in her eyes.

"There's nothing to explain. The vials of brilliance in the drawers of your night stand speak for themselves." She is hurt, I have lost her trust as an officer, but more importantly, as a friend.

Brilliance; the drug that I grew up on, a hallucinogenic, relaxant, energizer, deadly to produce and even more dangerous to use where extended use of it can cause the decaying of the eye and eventually death. It is the processed intraocular fluid of human eyeballs and the only thing that helps me through the rough days when the memories of my past in Zaun flood back. I grit my teeth and try again

"It's synthesized, no one was harmed."

_Please don't do this_

"It doesn't matter Vi! I don't care if no one was hurt or if you kill half of Piltover for it-" She stops herself and draws in a shuddering breath. Her pained eyes slide close and when they open, they are as cold as the frost of Freljord. "I trusted you, you told me you would go clean, we took down the head extractor and here you are, with enough of the shit to kill 20 men."

I flinch at her words; I can't bring myself to look her in the eyes. She mustn't learn of my past, the memories that I take brilliance for to forget; the monster Zaun has created.

_Hurt_

_Rage_

_Betrayal_

_I feel it all with her_

"I can't have an officer let alone my partner hooked on the deadliest drug in all of Piltover."

I don't know how she takes my sudden silence, but I cannot find the words to express how I feel.

_Oh Caitlyn_

_I'm so sorry_

"Cait-" The words scurry back into my throat

"That's Sheriff to you." Cold, emotionless, the voice she uses when she speaks to a common officer. "Don't come back to the station until you've cleaned up your act, Officer Vi." She walks out, disappearing around the corner. I hear the sound of the Piltover transportation platform spring to life and discharge. Silence is my companion.

The lingering scent of lavender burns my nose.

(Back ground info: Brilliance is a (fake) drug that is made by extracting the fluid in the human eye and concentrating it. To use it, you drop droplets of it into your own eyes and wait for the light show to being. Weed= High whereas Brilliance/eye oil=Blind)


	28. Memory 36

I slump in the corner of the chamber; I don't even remember entering it. The tar pit glows a spectral green, wispy, until the violet tar I had encountered a year ago. The smell is sweet; howls of captured souls fill the air. I howl back.

_It won't stop_

The gauntlets pulse and writhe around my hands, humming with excitement and recounting our adventures to mother. They hail me as a hero, having protected mother from a band of assassins. I can't help but feel pride swell in my chest.

_Where's Caitlyn?_

Mother is proud of me, I have done well. She will keep me warm, I will keep her safe. We are a family now. I need her as much as she needs me.

_I need you Caitlyn_

_I hope she'll forgive me about the dress._

I hear them pounding in the halls of our home. They are trespassing. Their hearts tell me that they are here to kill, here to take me away from mother. I can't let them do that.

Don't worry, I'll keep you safe.

_Please be safe_

They come closer; they call my name, spewing false promises of a cure, to help me. I need no help, I am the best that I can be;

a protector

a savior

a courier to these souls.

I will stand by her side.

It is them who need to die. Them who need to pay for the sins that they have brought onto the sacred grounds of this temple, their feet dirty the floors. Flesh will cleanse their souls. I don't know why I scream.

_Don't come any closer!_

_I don't want to hurt anyone_

I look down at what I have evolved into, the power flows through my arms. I have no need for a power pack anymore, the gloves are a part of me, they are of my own flesh now.

I am in control.

The leathery skin stretches over my arms, across my back and up my neck. Bandages infused with Nexus powder wrap tightly around my chest, a barrier to prevent the gift from spreading. It burns my skin, I leave them alone.

_They can see what I've become_

A peculiar wooden totem stands in the center of the room; amber wings adorn the painted column. A pink gem shines at the tip of the stick, casting a light that fights back the glow of the pool. Foolish device. Let them witness my glory.

_Tainted_

I hear them through the wall. They shout louder, two men and a woman. It doesn't matter, their souls will feed mother. If they wish to kill me, then I shall wish the same upon them.

_Ryze, Vayne, Lucian, just leave me here_

I stand tall, prepared to defend. I will teach them to fear the herald of punishment. I feel their perverted minds, selfish, greedy, their hatred. They wish everyone harm.

_I hate it all_

I pull back, my hand crying out as it charges up. I can feel them on the opposite of the wall in front of me, their pathetic faces begging me to let them in. One strike, it will sting, but I will have protected mother. The charge is complete.

_If there is a god_

I say a prayer to shackle their souls here. Time is a coming.

_Please don't let me do this_

Glory

_Please_

Honor

_Mercy_

In a moment, my body twists away from the wall as I let go, my fist carrying my body forward. The force is too much for me to stop. It drives me straight towards mother. My face twists with confusion.

_I hate it all_

The cold tar bubbles at my feet, sticky and engulfing me. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

_The cauldron simmers_

It chills me, thick like paste. The souls shriek, pulling me deeper. I cannot fight back, they drag me down. They want revenge.

_Calming_

Memories fade, for a moment; I cannot remember where I am.

Who am I

_Vi_

How did I get here

Everything ceases to exist, I have served my purpose.

_Nothing_

_Oh Caitlyn_

I am up to my neck when an explosion rocks the chamber, rubble showering into the pit. Three figures burst through the dust. I don't recognize them.

_You guys_

I snarl, they have defiled sacred ground. They look horrified.

_Perfection_

The tar swallows my head.

_Pure bliss._


	29. Memory 11

"Mundo knows how to help Vi forget!"

I groan and sink my head into my arms. Maybe the Zaun Watering hole was a bad choice to get a drink at. The obnoxiously bright bottles stacked on the shelves gleam in a light only I can see. I can barely recall the name of the few champions around me. It doesn't bother me a bit.

"I don't need your help Mr. Tongue." I slur out slightly, blinking in sudden confusion when his purple skin swirls with colors.

"That's Dr. Tongue to you!" He shouts, slobber splatter onto the counter. The barkeep sends us a dirty look. My eye twitches and I down the rest of my drink, the buzz finally taking me.

_Pleasure_

I know it's dangerous, but my muddled mind has run out of fucks to give; alcohol makes me violent, brilliance makes everything I do course pleasure to my brain. Hand in hand, they usually spell a broken building and a smaller paycheck. But I don't have the brain capacity to care, not with my heart bleeding like it is.

_Extra pleasure in beating a face in is just my kind of night._

"I can relieve more stress for you better than you punching him." Smooth voice. My clenched fist twitches. He reeks of Zaun.

I scoff and look to the provider of my poison; a lanky, disgusting man. His bandaged face fills my vision, his stench pulls me back to the memories I've been trying so hard to forget. The satisfying crack of his jaw buys me fresh breathing air. The sting of my knuckles jolts my spine.

The lights burst again and I find myself on my feet, stumbling through the Zaun halls. The smell of chemicals is everywhere, it a long way back to the halls of the Piltover wing. I doubt I can make the journey. His angry shouts fade away, like a dream I had just woken up from.

_A dream, yes, all a dream_

My feet give way; I slide down one of the walls, content with watching the wind swirl in the Zaun courtyard. The yard has a green haze that hugs the ground, it reminds me of home and all the memories I'm trying to erase. I bite my lip, rubbing my palms on the carpeted floor. It sends tantalizing friction sparking up my arms.

_Pleasure_

There is humming, skipping, the tone of my song, but different. The air shifts.

_Hehe, here comes Vi_

I sing along, my teeth shining in the moonlight. Eyes ease shut and my head rests on the wall.

"Fat hands?" She sounds surprised, the singing stops.

_Little runt, I'm trying to forget…something._

I glance up to her, she hasn't changed one bit since we were housed in that rotten cell. Her electric blue hair and bright pink eyes pull at my heart. We used to comfort each other when the scientists discovered some new miracle cure to test out. All those years ago; I wonder if she tries to forget. I frown, losing my train of thought. Another song pops into mind.

"Let's blow this city to ashes and see what Powpow thinks," I close my eyes, losing myself to the explosion of colors dancing in the darkness. I do little to spot the grin from spreading across my face.

An arm wraps around my midsection and a shoulder under my arm. I let out a quiet moan at the contact. Jinx's smiling face and quirked eyebrow is all I see as she looks straight into my eyes.

"oooooo Fat hand's on brilliance again, I wonder what Hatlady thinks." She taunts me, helping me to my feet and leading out into the frigid courtyard. The sudden rush of cold air hits my body like a hextrain, chilling my flushed skin. I stumble back, she steadies me.

"Sorry to burst your bubble kiddo, but she already knows and she ain't happy 'bout it." Her small finger press into my sides, my breath comes out in shallow puffs.

A soft groan, colors.

I drop my head down, brows furrowed. My mind can only focus on the shifting of the pressing fingers. How they move up my side to find a better grip. How they drag me back to my source of desperation. My eyes close and I am floating in a sea of mesmerizing colors with only hands holding me up for breath.

_Help, I have done it again_

I am back at the cold cell, Jinx whimpering in my arms. Blood speckled bandages wrapped around her head, covering her eyes. It was the fourth time she's come back like this. She cannot see, I can barely move, we depend on each other for survival. Anger surges through me.

_I have been here many times before_

Somehow we are on the tiled rooftop, lying on our backs, eyes to the night sky. The moon sits high above it, stars surround it like a kingdom; they stretch as far as the eye can see. Not a single cloud breaks my vision. It's nice to be back here, no cares, free. Humming.

_They look so far away, so small, so far_

I shift, my left arm outstretched and Jinx using it as a pillow. Her small frame barely puts down any weight. I glance at her peaceful face, her eyes closes and relaxed. Trusting. Light flashes, I am forced to watch as I am taken away, collared like an animal, to be put down. Horror.

_I am small and needy_

I hold her close, like how she did when I couldn't move when they flayed me open, injecting various concoctions into my muscles. I shiver, feeling the cold steel tear through me again. My eyes clench tight.

I used to worry about her day and night on the streets of the lowercity, foolishly trying to formulate a plan to break her out. In the end, she simply faded away, like a dream I had woken up from.

_Be my friend_

"I miss you sometimes." She sounds…normal? Less psycho, less Jinx. She catches me looking at her. I can see her sadness and I know; she tries just as hard as me to forget.

No, it's Jinx next to me, her eyes glowing in the dark, her eyesight is sharper than mine. All the memories of our early childhood spent in that "orphan house" haunt me every time I look at her. I've tried to avoid her; I've tried so hard to let them go.

_Perhaps it's time to accept that they're here to stay._

I embrace her fully, my family, finding warmth in the winter night. No pleasure, no colors, I am content.

_Pure Bliss_


	30. Memory 33

"I really don't think is a good idea Caitlyn."

The soil welcomes my feet, solidifying to give me a proper path. For the others, it seems to pull away, causing them to slosh around in the murky swamp ground. Mud clings onto their boots. I stand, shoulders tense, watching as the others step off of the summoning platform to just on the outside of the twisted tree line.

The four summoners step off last, woven plates replacing their usual robes. These were more powerful, field mages, the same ones that secured these grounds as well as the Howling Abyss and the Crystal Scar. Unlike their league companions, these always have their Nexus shards out, always scanning, always prodding everything with their damn magic.

They only put me more on edge.

My hands twitch, I want to rip the bandages they wrapped around me off so badly. It stings, it burns, it doesn't feel right. They told me it was to keep the disease from spreading. They treat me as if I'm a rabid animal when it's them who are the dangerous ones. They think they can claim these lands as their own.

I pause, furrowing my brows.

_What am I saying?_

"It'll be fine." She comforts me, placing a hand on my hip and giving me a caste kiss on the lips. Her warmth drifts away faster than I'd like it to. She looks me in the eyes, the same loving eyes as always. "We'll get through this together."

Her words stay with me forever.

The plan is simple;

Investigate

Secure

Destroy of needed

It was the original strike force they had sent before; Vayne, Lucian, and Ryze. I urged them that I should stay behind Caitlyn for one agreeing with me, but they were so hell bent having me come along. Caitlyn forced her way onto the exhibition with a little more than a strongly worded letter to the head summoner.

_What are they planning_

The summoners give us another quick debrief, handing each of us a pink vision ward that we are to activate if an emergency is to arise. Other than that, we are to stick together, find the tar that had turn me in…whatever I am, and find a way to turn me back.

They want to take away mother's gift to me.

I spend the whole trek to the temple fidgeting and twitch and wanting to rip those damned bandages off.

As we near the large stone temple, we notice bodies littering the ground. Judging by their armor, it looks as though they were torn apart and left to die, their corspes untouched by scavengers. I stare at their mouths that hang open in soundless screams. It was no animal looking for a meal that killed these men.

Trespassers.

We get to the mouth of the temple, the enchanted forest abruptly ending a good 200 feet from the stone walls. In fact, no plant life grows beyond where the trees end, no movement, nothing sounds from inside the massive building. We glance back at the summoners who begin whispering, pointing their Nexus shards into the air. We follow their gaze and see something we didn't see there the last time we braved the grounds.

An enormous, uncut Nexus stone, easily ten times larger than the one on the rift, floats above the temple, swirls of blue and red shift under its rough surface. I smile; it is a sign of mother's rebirth.

_I'm not even sure if this is the right temple. _

The summoners usher us inside, now more eager about harnessing the stone rather than finding the tar pit. Foolish humans.

_I knew weren't going to fucking help me._

They think they can claim anything they set their hands on.

We sit idle in a grand hall of the cathedral; crumbling stone pews fill up the space. The summoners use the altar to draw up a plan on how to take mother's heart. I grimace and cast my gaze elsewhere; I have a stronger urge to tear them apart than to tear the bandages they forced upon me.

_What's happening to me_

I glance over to the petty night hunters who chat idly about tall tales of slaying evil creatures. Child's play. The azure man stands alone, admiring the stone carvings the wall. No matter how much he stares at them, he'll never discover the true passages unless he swear loyalty to mother.

I shake my head, wiping my cheek with the palm of my gauntlet. They pulse at the sudden contact.

_Caitlyn, something's wrong_

I shiver, bringing my face up to look to the statue behind the altar, hearing a distant rumble. It is a carving of a vaguely humanoid figure, intricate armor dons her body. Her head bears no helmet, nothing to obscure her ability to pass judgment. Wings made of grasping hands fan out behind her; the souls she has damned for their sins give her strength. Her loving smile has long worn away, destroyed but their horrendous magic.

Mother doesn't like it when guests come into her home uninvited. She wants me to get rid of them, to release their sinful souls, help her revive the Shadow Isles. I know she can do it. I'll help her.

_Caitlyn…Help me_

"They should be more concerned about finding the chamber than getting that bloody stone into their greedy hands." She angrily growls out, seating herself next to me on the pew. Her hand rests on my leg, stroking my thigh through the thick fabric of my pants. It soothes me slightly. She reminds me of mother.

_Don't you feel it?_

Another rumble sounds, they others seem undisturbed by it. Mother is growing restless, she has warned them yet they do no leave. Does mother need me?

_Who the fuck is mother?!_

"Vi? You're awfully quiet." Her voice softens, a finger hooks under my chin and she gazes into my eyes.

They need to leave, they are upsetting mother, I can feel the taint in their minds, in their souls. They are here to destroy these lands. Mother has passed judgment. Kill them, make her stronger, tether their souls to her name and cleanse the forest that they infected with their magic. They must pay for what they did to this place.

_Stop_

I clench my fists, pulling my face away from her hand. She lets out a startled gasp before putting her hand on my glove. Her concerned voice falls on my deaf ears. The rumbling grows louder, my gloves vibrate with energy, they sense mother's distress. It is a call to arms.

_I can't control it_

The rumbling is deafening, I can see the walls shake, dust falls from the ceiling yet these humans, they do not flinch or take notice. I stare at the statue of mother; the wings grope the air, tortured by their own flaws. Her blank face stares forward.

They have no respect for mother, no respect for our home. Their wicked tongues speak of taking the isles apart, like meat sold to the highest bidder. I have to stop them.

Mother, lend me your strength.

_Stop!_

I blink, not even realizing I had let out a scream. They all take notice, staring at me with their prying eyes, the rumbling stops, mother is looking at me, her smile warms my heart. I know what I have to do. We will not be mocked by these mortals.

"Leave" I whisper out, barely loud enough for even Caitlyn to hear.

_Please, I beg of you._

I. Don't. Beg.

"Mrs. Vi."

Their language is primal, disgusting.

_Stay back_

"Leave, now"

They step closer, their shards spinning wildly. I can feel their repulsive magic surging in the air. Sparks fly off of the blue man's hands; the other two prepare their weapons. But she stays, seated by my side, unmoving, unarmed, full trust.

_Please_

My world fades to darkness, blind rage consuming me. In the inky black, I feel the blood gush and coat my hands, paint the walls, I return my mother's armor to its original crimson shine. I feel pleasure, pride, loyalty. I have protected mother. No magic hangs in the air, the summoners are dead. More hands are etched into her wings.

I stare down at the scrap of purple cloth in my hand, a yellow strip cutting through the fabric. A tear falls; I don't know why I'm crying.

_Oh Caitlyn_


	31. Memory 32

_It's cold  
_Freezing, my breath frosts in the air

I don't remember how long I've been held here, there is too much light. Night never comes, sleep is just a period of darkness before I awake to light once more. I stare at the glassy yellow ceiling, the demon of light that always glares upon me.

My body shivers, I wrap the fur blanket closer to my body, no matter how much I try, my body gives off no heat to make use of it. Its softness is the only comfort it provides. Rhythmic tapping fills the cell, followed by maddening whispers.

_You trusted them, they betrayed you._

I try to block them out.

_They deserve death._

I try not to believe them.

_You deserve freedom_

I do not, after what I have done.

My body shivers again.

My punishment is justified. All the blood spilt, sinful or not, it doesn't matter, blood is blood. Death is not the judgment I condemn people to.

_Stop them_

I can't control it.

_Give in_

I need help.

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

Will they ever stop?

I glance over to the special hole in the wall just for them. An entire, translucent rune separates us. So much blood was spilt when the summoners tried to hold us in different cells, this was their last resort.

_Ten souls for mother _

They restlessly scuttle about, clawing at the magic infused stone around them. It is no use; they are weak, suppressed by perverted sorcery. I can hear them chirp to each other; trying to devise a plan to break free and reunite with me so we can return to mother.

_Mother is all that matters to them_

_To us_

They slam themselves against the walls, throwing their weight onto the rune, something they've done so many times before. They don't learn. It sends them into a flurry of anger, scratching at the confines their small cell.

I think it's been a few days, maybe a few weeks. Food comes and goes, I've lost track of how many meals they've given me. I don't even know how often they are feeding me. I am never hungry when the bland food arrives, appearing in the middle of my cell in a blink of an eye.

There is a working toilet in my cell, I don't understand how it works, no water fills the bowl. I don't pay attention to it anyways. There are no doors, no windows, no entrance. I'm reminded of Zaun.

They sedated me the second the officers regained their senses, their boots splashing in the puddles of blood in the machine shop. I can still remember the look on Caitlyn's face; they had to hold her back while she screamed for them to stop. It was the last time I saw her; this cell has become my reality.

I had heard about the League's research facility they had built in the Freljord, designed to house criminals and creatures that they wish to study. I guess I pertain to both those categories.

_Oh Caitlyn_

I bury my face into the fur blanket, no scent, no warmth, just the cold and the tapping of my gloves. I had hurt her, I saved her from death but I tore her heart apart when I ripped those men limb from limb in front of her.

_If I want to help her, I should stay away, keep her away from the monster I am._

_She'll never forgive, never. It's ruined_

"No, there is still hope. I can fix it."

_There is nothing to fix, her tongue only knows how to speak lies._

"She promised"

_For her own benefit. She is sly, always manipulating things to turn out how she wants them planned all of this._

I try not to believe it

"I promised" I hold onto the wedding ring in my hands, the metal as cold as the air.

_You promised her nothing. You could not even remember your wedding vows. Your loyalty belongs with mother._

I slide the ring back on; even the gem refuses to twinkle under the light.

"No, I will not kill anymore."

_It is upon them that they sin. Their magic has destroyed this land. They deserve the fate you deliver._

"No they don't, they don't know any better."

_They will soon_

A surge tears through me, my eyes widen, pupils dilate, I can feel the urge to kill. Raw power. The gloves scream, begging me to free them. My hand itch, burn, chocking

Trapped. I feel my glove's desperation. I need to escape

Shadows waltz in the light, grasping wings of hands.

Mother?

_You don't need them, they just want to use you, dissect you. _

"They'll help me" I curl up in the blanket, plead for sleep to return to me. I cannot tear my eyes away from the figure.

_We will keep you safe_

I get to my feet, the furs sliding off of me and crumpling to my floor, the shadow disappears, I am left in the light. I shiver again, resting my forehead against the smooth walls of my cell. Freedom sounds so sweet. Anger boils.

_They trap you here, an officer of the law, while murders and criminals roam the land. _

I growl, I can agree, all that I've sacrifice just to be sealed away like this.

_You need to bring justice_

They appeal to my heart. I know they're lies but I can't stop.

_You need to protect her_

My heart skips, hands clenching in realization.

_You promised didn't you?_

The caldron boils.

_The pigs, they are shoving their own agendas down her throat while you sit here, pathetic. _

I need to get to her

_She needs you, Vi_

I need her

The rock shatters beneath my violet fists, the skin splits and pours dark blue blood onto everything in my cell. My hands paint the walls and the rubble. Every punch, one more inch to reunion, my ticket to saving Caitlyn.

_Escape, no one will stand in our way. Purge the corrupt. _

I can see it, a perfect Piltover. No oppressive uppercity, no scoundrels. My dream.

_Oh Caitlyn_

The gauntlets hum with warmth, the air waves at their pent up rage. All the stone around us crumbles. No exit is found. My cells has quadrupled in size, jagged piles of rock carpet the floor. Yet no exit, the darkness is lit up by the single, circular panel above me.

It is there for them to look in.

It shatters easily

Free, free to protect Caitlyn

I can hear the alarm blaring in the walkway above me. It won't be long until the rats arrive. My pulse quickens, I hoist myself out my prison, the halls are empty.

Freedom tastes so sweet

I glance up and down the pathway; I feel the vibrations of the footsteps of a lone patrol. The first to arrive at the scene. My grin stretches out, the gauntlets charge up with glorious heat. I relish in his stupefied face.

He stands frozen in fear, a novice summoner, maybe even on his first day at work. Maybe even just a visitor. It's all the same to me, he had a part to play with my imprisonment. I can swear by it. I casually walk up to him, my feet shaking the ground. His fear fuels me; his past crimes roll off of him in waves. This will be a good soul for mother.

_Mother_

I halt, he shutters, I shiver. The heat release from my gloves. He turns tail and sprints around the corner. I have no intentions of chasing.

I can't. I won't allow it. No more death.

_The sight of Caitlyn's horrified face, her screams. I can't put her through it again. I vowed to protect her; I would lay my life down for her. And so I shall, in this damned cell._

I turn my heel and drop back into my hole, the gloves scream at me. I will suffer for what I've done.

The blanket offers no comfort

_You fool_

It berates a deaf audience

I will stay strong, if not for myself, for her wellbeing.

Self-discipline

Self-respect

Huddled

It is still

It is quiet

The gloves murmur to each other

"Vi?"

I hear footsteps, the alarm shuts off, a tear falls on my head. I gaze up, she is surrounded by light, my angel has arrived.

"Hey cupcake." I smile crookedly, my heart clenches, I try so hard.

My mind blanks, she crouched down in front of me, an army of summoners standing around the hole in the ceiling. I burry my face back into my blanket, I want them to leave.

"Vi, look at me" small hands cup my face, bringing it out of the cold and into tender gaze, worried eyes, hurt eyes. She cries.

I'm tired of fighting

"I need help." I admit meekly; she wraps her arms around my head, pushing my face into the crook of her neck. I cry freely, her hands stroking my hair. She whispers to me. She smells like lavender.

My heart shatters

"Whoever you become, no matter how terrible people may see you, or even how you see yourself, I am here for you, love. We will get through this together."

Shaking

Warmth

I cry

_Oh Caitlyn_

I'll keep you safe.


	32. Memory 12

"So, wat'cha gonna do with all your leftover brilliance?"

She asks me for the umpteenth time, lying on my bed and playing with the seven vials of the pale, amber liquid. Its fluid gold, I'd be able to buy a new car if I sold my stash. I see the same mischievous smirk spread across her lips.

"For the last time, I'm not giving you my stuff."

She whines, rolling around on my messy bed, the vials shifting and clinking together.

"Aw loosen up Fathands." Her eyes narrow, the face she make when she's thinking. I only see this face once in a blue moon. Her face unfolds, the look of explicit discovery painted in her eyes. "I just got an idea!"

She leaps off of the bed and wraps herself around me, cheek nuzzled against my arm, glowing puppy eyes pulling at my heart. I look down at her, half expecting her to say something intelligent.

"We should get blind together! Just like old times!" I groan, I should've expected her to suggest it. I want to say no, but the words don't come out. One glance back at her and she's sprinting to my night stand, rummaging in the random junk I throw into it.

"I wouldn't-" My warning comes too late, a curse erupts from her lips as she pulls back and sulks back to me. I shake my head, retrieving a half empty tin of healing salve from my dresser.

_Just like old times_

I take her cut hand and massage some of the salve into the wound, she whimpers slightly when I rub too hard. Unlike me, her wounds take longer to heal than normal people due to a failed serum. Her cheeks puff with embarrassment as she waits for me to finish. My hands are reluctant to let go.

"There, now-" the second I turn around to put the tin away, she's back to rummaging through the night dresser with the same fervor as before. The room pulses slightly, colors dancing at the corners of my sight.

My heart is torn between feeling annoyed or endeared, same old Jinx.

"Ah ha!" She exclaims, pulling out what she was after, a clear eye dropper clasped triumphantly in her hand.

I am unable to stop her, her ecstatic leap onto the bed brings the vials a few inches into the air. For a moment, the twinkle in the light, like distant starts Caitlyn and I would watch on our walk home after a long day at the station.

A pang of guilt hits me, the thought of Caitlyn returning to my mind.

_I shouldn't. I really shouldn't_

"Yeah, you probably shouldn't. But so what?"

I don't realize I've spoken out loud until Jinx answers me with her obnoxiously chirpy voice. My eyes shoot at my bedroom door; I have half a mind to leave. I could kick her out of my flat, that'll be the end of it. But knowing Jinx, she would be back in less than two minutes. Leaving would just mean she can rampage my room on how ever many drops of brilliance she wants. I sigh, fuck Caitlyn for making me into a responsible human being, seating myself on the bed next to her, I'm here if she needs me.

_The air is stale, the always present smell of decaying bodies hangs low in the cell. Once a month, the scientists give us a bottle of brilliance for "cooperating with them". I'm old enough to know that it's their plan to get us addicted, to make it harder to leave. I try not to think how they are able to produce so much brilliance. _

_For now it's the only thing that helps us through the nightmares._

I watch as Jinx expertly draws a dose, like honey filling the tube. It's the only thing that she actually takes immense care in doing. The smell of synthetic oil is distinct in itself, not the putrid, gasoline like smell of true eye oil. This smell is sharp, stinging, but at least not as unpleasant.

"You never liked using the real stuff." She speaks, her tone dropping to a lower tone, she's remembering just like me.

_"Shhhhh, I got you Blue." I would say as I held her shaking body, the both of us flinched when the door slamed shut, leaving behind a tray of food and our vial of brilliance. _

_"I'm going to kill them all, every last one for them." She would say, her voice hoarse from screaming during the procedure. She was far too frail for her size, the cuts on her body lasting three times as long as mine did. I shut my eyes and pressed my dry lips onto the top of hair head, rocking her. I did my best to comfort her like a big sister. _

_Her shoulders shook as if she was sobbing but her eyes were unable to produce the tears her heart desperately needed. Nothing but dry chokes was heard in the room. _

Silence fills the room; she fiddles with the dropper before resealing the vial and dropping it into the pool in the center of the bed. It looks like a net of fish eggs, a feast for the uppercity pigs. I sneer, I can imagine the headlines if anyone back at Piltover found out I did brilliance.

Her eyes look like snowdown lights, somehow making their own light to fill in where there is none. It's a well-known side effect of brilliance abusers, her eyes never glowed this brightly in Zaun.

_"You hungry?" I asked her when her breathes came out steadier, her hands no longer balled into fists in my shirt. _

_She shook her head, tilting her face up to me; at least this time, the bandages around her eyes were free of blood. My heart aches knowing that I can't protect from their scalpels, from their experiments, all I can do is be there to piece together the remains. _

_"Oil." She said softly, pleading, I've denied her of her oil since they began her operation. That was months ago. _

_My eyes shift over to the three full vials of brilliance underneath our beds._

_A sigh escapes my lips, she deserves relief._

"To judge how good your dealer is, I'll have to conduct, a blind test!" She says playfully, laughing at her own terrible joke. Nostalgia keeps ripping at my chest.

She tilts her head back and positions the plastic device over her eye. Excitement fills the room

Two fat drops fall into each of her eyes, each like a golden ticket to pure bliss. She bats her eyes quickly, the oil absorbing readily into her veins. A Cheshire like grin blooms on her face, her lids scrunch up before opening wide, the pink hue is astounding.

"Whoo! Fathands, this is some good stuff for being fake. Where'd ya get it?"

My heart leaps pride at her exclamation, though I would be dead if Caitlyn found out I brewed my own oil, I can't help but feel happy that Jinx approves of the quality. My feeling of accomplishment is replaced with dread when the dropper is roughly shoved into my hands; I almost fail to hold onto the smooth plastic.

My hands shake.

_"This might hurt, you sure about this?" I asked her once more, sitting next to Jinx's laying form. _

_The bondages are gone, her eyes are bloodshot. I can see the bruises around the sockets, the strips of purple flesh were they bound her arms and face. They've been there since the beginning of the experiment._

_"Stop being such a baby and blind me, Pink." She was eager, eager to escape reality, even if only for a moment._

_I nodded, holding the dropper over her eyes. With hands steady like a surgeon's, two fat drops fell into each red eye, they shined like a light being switched on. Teeth gleamed as she bit her lip, curled with glee. When it is done, my hands twitch instinctively to blind myself. I stop before the bring the dropper up to my own eyes._

_The acrid smell of gasoline is familiar. I flinch when visions of the bodies of the failed test subjects flash in my head; fallen comrades who help those still alive with their own death, providing solace in the brilliance from their eyes. _

_My mind wanted it so badly; it had been a grueling 4 months without a single dose. _

_But I can't, not this time._

_Self-discipline_

_Self-respect_

I can't stop myself, anxiety takes hold. If this were 24 hours earlier, I would've gotten blind with Jinx in a flash, but now. I know what I have to lose, what I've already lost to this drug. I don't want to destroy my chances of fixing things with Caitlyn.

"Whattya, chicken, Fathands?" She falls into a fit of maddening giggles, tossing in the bed sheets. "You Fat Chicken Hands now?" More laughter follow, I grit my teeth in annoyance.

_I want is so badly_

"C'mon, where's the rough and tough Pink I used to know; the one that punched her way through an army of scientist and guard. Ya got this far." My will crumbles.

"Live a little." I look to her, I swear I can see the digesting concert cell walls behind her.

"Do it for me."

I bring the dropper up to my eyes. My hands shake the whole way; it is the first time I have been so afraid to take a drop. At this rate, I'll miss my eye. In a moment, I find my hands empty and my back pushed into the soft mattress beneath. A weight sits on my waist, legs straddling me.

I look up, dazed and confused. The weight shifts, a warm hand cups the side of my face. Glowing pink fills my vision.

"Hold still or ya gonna waste it." My chest tightens; I shift uncomfortably, her grip tightens, I'm not used to being this close to Jinx. I can feel her breath ghost over me as she focuses on the dose above my eye.

My heart beat quickens, if Caitlyn walked in on us right now…

The oil is electrifying, a gasp leaving my throat when the first drop hits my eye. I lose count of how many drops fall into each of my portals. It feels like forever but it just keeps coming, sending chills up and down my body.

Every move Jinx makes, the slightest twitch sets my brain aflame. I am left gulping for air; I did not expect it to hit me this fast.

I don't even realize when she pulls away until I feel hands sliding up my sides, teasing my rigid muscles. Air is sucked greedily into my lungs and pushed out as if its poison.

I can't get enough

I can't stop myself

She pushes the breath right of out me; I flail my arms, my muscles refusing to comply as they are easily swatted away. Too much, I don't know how much she's given me.

Blue

_Baby Blue_

"What's the matter, Pink? You getting feisty?" She grins a bit too wide, laughs a bit too much. I groan, rolling my head from side to side, insanity. I look back up, her face now covered in bloody bandages, the caged cell light flickering on the ceiling.

In a blink I am transported back to my flat, Jinx humming happily on my chest.

I feel like I'm falling

Weightless

Yet pinned down by her

Coming up for air that is not there

Her lips are next to my ear, she moans words I can't quite hold onto. All I can focus on are her hands, how they draw teasing circles on my collar bone and arms. She must've refilled the dropper; I took a full fucking dose. No other way.

My body quivers, heart thundering, how high have I fallen down from?

Fuck

Fucking Jinx

Fuck

_Oh Caitlyn_

"Get off" my voice surprises me, its sound too weak, too scared. I don't even believe that it's my voice.

Every scrape of her fingernails, every jolt of friction, I jerk away only to cause more. Gravity shifts,

_Please_

"Stop"

_Jinx_

"No can do, Pink."

_I'll beat the living shit out of you_

"mhmm, cool story."

I feel cold air rush onto my face. Are we outside? Where are we going?

I hear laughter, it's not Jinx's, it sounds like my own.

"Up up and away!"

The world is lost in a tornado of colors and a cloud of darkness.


	33. Memory 28

"It's a what?!"

The entire room roars with laughter the moment after Heimerdinger introduces us to his wedding gift. His mustache wiggles in contempt, probably put off at how everyone was jesting at his invention.

"I don't understand why you humans find this so humorous." He sighs exasperatedly, glancing about the crowd. A package the size of a shoebox sits on the tea table in front of him. It's a plain, brown box, but what he describes to us is what we're laughing about.

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes; I can see Jinx already on the floor, clutching her stomach. Spilled alcohol covers the floor and the wooden table.

It's a small, tightknit reception, where only the invited could join us, courtesy of Caitlyn's stern instructions. We rented out an event room at the Ionion resort we'd be spending the honeymoon at and they gave us a complementary open bar for the night. I bet they are regretting that decision right about now.

"Maybe we should get one for blondie over there, I bet he needs one!" Tryndamere's crude joke sends the room into another round of laughter and giggles, fueled by alcohol and the hype of the night. Ezreal shoots the barbarian a dirty look before a nudge from Jayce and a whisper in the young boy's ear brings grinning again.

I knock the last of my whiskey to the back of my throat and raise my hands.

"'Ight, every shut the fuck up so the fuzzball can finish." I yell over the commotion. The noise dies down and all attention is directed to the scientist.

"Although I do not appreciate being called 'fuzzball', your efforts have been noted, ape."

I swear he's smirking under all that fur on this face.

_Fuzzball is always a joy to banter with_

"As I was saying, this device is my newly patented Hymen-Donger-"

A muffled chuckle ripples over the audience at the repeat of the name. I have to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from busting out into full blown laughter. It's just so ridiculous. I glance over to my left, Caitlyn sits squarely on her floor cushion, her face bright red, hands planted in her lap.

_She looks adorable_

I drape my arm over her tense shoulders and peck her on the cheek, her eyes flick towards me, lips drawn down in a pout. Her gaze is murderous. She's such a reserved person and I love her for it.

"Cheer up Cupcake, this sounds really inventive." I grin, earning a sharp rap on my thigh. We tune back into the yordle's presentation.

"Using hextech sensors and a modulator at the base of the device to translate electrical pulses into those that human nerves can pick up, the wearer will be able to feel every sensation along the shaft. "

His tiny hands go to open the box to show us, but Caitlyn's hands are faster, snatching it and setting it in her lap. She squirms under my arm before turning to the scientist.

"Thank you for your…debriefing. It's a wonderful gift, professor. "

_Too many words_

My mind works hard at trying to sort through the terms I could understand and piece them together.

"So it's like a robotic strap on." I blurt out, the alcohol dissolving my already weak filter. I can sense Caitlyn palming her face in shame.

The fuzzball, on the other hand, seems to be enthusiastic about detailing his work. He sets an arm on the table and leans forward, the light catching on his goggles

"In your primitive mindset, yes. But in the name of science, it enables without a phallus to obtain the experience of having one. Its name is derived from the hymen; a symbol of virgins, and donger-"

"Enough!" The room falls silent; the Sheriff's cheeks are still flushed. I can't imagine how she feels, she never did like being open about our personal lives.

Through my buzzed haze, I realize how much discomfort she's in. I gently pull her close into a hug and kiss her on the forehead; reassurance is what she needs, back in her element. I speak softly, a sly grin on my face; I can't help but push her buttons a bit more.

"Okay, Cupcake, how about you open another present." I take Heimerdinger's gift and place it behind me, "And we save this one for the honeymoon."

_I'm going to pay for this so badly_

I get a hoot of agreements from the gentlemen of the room, even the dickhead of tomorrow catcalls. I cannot remember a time where I have had this much fun toying with Caitlyn. She punches me playfully in the shoulder, the other hand gliding down smoothly and groping my ass. No one else notices me stiffen or see the action sense we are seated at the head of the long table.

The eyebrows rocket up in surprise; I see a mischievous glint in her eyes.

We share a grin and go back to opening gifts.

_Tomorrow will be an interesting day. _


	34. Memory 13

_Why am I wet?_

A chilly breeze gusts over my moist forehead, sending another shiver down my body. I scrunch my eyes, splotches of light shine upon my lids. It takes a moment for me to assess the state of my body.

_ .Stiff_

I peel my back from whatever I was leaning on; I can feel the grooves indented into my flesh. The thing I sit on sways back and forth, the thought that I may be on a boat sends panic in my chest.

I force my eyes open, the world is bleary and in gray scale, my eyes refuse to focus on anything. A couple of blinks and squints later, I can see a sea of leaves beneath me. I let out a sigh, only the trees at the institute that are laced with magic stay green all year long.

_Wait a minute_

_I'm in a fucking tree._

_Well that's new_

_Never woke up in a tree before_

The moment I pear down to the forest floor, vertigo hits me like a truck and nearly throws me off the branch. I clutch onto the rough bark for dear life, the world spinning around me. I wrap my arms around the wood, not caring about the sharp edges digging into my bare arms.

_Fucking_

_Piece_

_Of_

_Flaming_

_Horseshit_

I try not to focus on how the tree feels like it's doing a nose dive, or how the wind feels like it's trying to blow me off the face of Valoran, or how…it sounds like I'm surrounded by wind chimes?

My eyes ease open, they focus on the tiny cervices of the tree bark. Gingerly, I pry myself off the branch once more and lift my head up.

_Oh shit_

Helmets, headpieces and goggles decorate the tree branches above me like a snowdown tree. With another gust of wind, they clank together, the sound reminds me of the vials of brilliance on my bed. My eyes dart about; I can spot Zigg's goggles, Jarven's crown, and even Lee Sin's blindfold. They all look fairly new and unused unlike the usually ones they wear.

_Are these their spare ones?_

A flash of light catches my attention and with reflexes that had kept me alive on the streets, I reach out to catch a falling helmet knocked free from its perch. The metal is smooth and polished but the worn cloth lining on the inside tells stories of a multitude of battle. It takes a moment for me to recognize it.

"Ms. Vi"

_Perfect timing_

I don't even look up to hand Kayle back her helmet. It's gently lifted from my hand. The flapping of her wings jingle the helmet further, I spare her a glance when I hear her amused chuckle. I scour her face for any hints to what I did while I was blind; she's as unreadable as Caitlyn.

"You have no idea what you did for the last three days, do you?"

_Three days!_

"What" My mind shuts down.

_I was blind for three days?!_

"I take that as a no." She chuckles once more and tucks the helmet under her arm. "You have a lot of items to return, I suggest you start before the others realize they're missing." She sounds smug before flying back down, disappearing into the darkness of the trees.

I let out a loud groan, leaning my head back onto the trunk of the tree. I don't have the slightest idea of where to begin.

_Fucking Jinx_

My stomach drops when my eyes spot a very familiar, yellow trimmed, purple top hat perched on one of the highest branches.

_Fuck me_


	35. Memory 14

"Now what?"

I sit on my bed, the sweet smell of brown sugar and cinnamon fills the room. My hands absent mindedly continue scratching the multitude of scars on my skin. It's a bad habit that I do whenever I'm anxious, I can't seem to break out of it. The only cure is having my gloves on, preventing me from scratching. Even then, I usually find a way.

I had discovered that it was 9am when I awoke in the tree. I glance to my bedside chronograph; the blue numbers read 10:32pm. My body screams with exhaustion, it had been a long day returning all the headdresses.

Most were no problem; champions usually don't lock their balcony doors, even when they are not at the institute. I guess they've gotten so use to the League's security system.

Rengar, however, was a different story. He was not happy when I accidently woke him from his afternoon nap. Evidence of our scuffle went beyond a torn up bed and cracks in his walls.

My fingers graze the already scabbed over gash on my arm.

My attention returns to the last head piece seated in front of me. The offending top hat glares back at me, challenging me to return it back to its owner. I know from my year and a half with Caitlyn that she only has one of the hats, a gift from her mother. I also know that she keeps her flat securely locked, not to mention she's hundreds of miles away back in Piltover.

_So how the fuck did I get her hat?_

I let out a frustrated growl, tossing my back onto my now clean bed. I even resorted to cleaning my entire flat to avoid the issue of returning the hat. She always told me to instead of destroying things, to invest my energy into more productive actions. My mind mulls over the few options I have.

_I could transport back to Piltover, waltz up to her and tell her._

_"I fucked up, here's your top hat back. Yeah, the one that you would hit me for if I even so much as accidently brushed up against it. Please don't kill me."_

I am not even amused by my own humor.

I could wait here until she comes looking for it herself, maybe she knows I have it. What if she gave it to me while I was blind.

_That's a crazy thought_

Does she know I got blinded right after she gave me a huge ass lecture about getting clean?

_By the void, did I go to see her with Jinx? _

My eyes widen at the thought, I haven't seen Jinx this whole day. She's not part of free week, so she may not even be at the institute right now. I think back to when I was cleaning and realize that my brilliance was gone too. My blood boils; I imagine strangling the daylights out of the runt.

_Fucking piece of_

"Caitlyn, Sheriff of Piltover."

_Horse_

_Shit_

I shoot up to a sitting position, stilling to make sure I heard the rune correctly.

"Caitlyn, Sheriff of Piltover."

"Fuck me in the ass." I swear under my breath, leaping from the bed and hastily pulling a shirt on.

It's no doubt Caitlyn at my door, the runic knob scans our life force signature or some shit and announces the identity of the person grasping the handle to the residence of the flat. In this case, the damned little rock is telling me that the harbinger of my death is at my doormat.

_Come on, Vi, you can do this_

I can't believe I have to pep talk myself before facing the woman I've been dating for months. I shake my hands out and roll my shoulders before snatching the hat up and making my way to the front door.

I take a moment to run my calloused fingers across the fabric. I never took the time to actually examine the hat up close, not like I've ever had the chance. It's soft yet it feels durable, probably weaved with some kind of hextech fibers invisible to the naked eye.

_Sleek yet resilient_

Custom made to fit the wearer.

"Caitlyn, Sheriff of Piltover."

The rune chimes a third time, bringing me out of my admiration of the hat. I turn the corner and see the door, imagining a fuming Caitlyn behind it. My throat tightens, the hairs on the back of my neck raise. It's worse than the time I tore through the mayor's estate chasing after the prick who knocked my cycle over. At least then I had a decent excuse, now, what do I have?

_Self- discipline_

_Self-respect_

I take another deep calming breath; it does little to aid my frayed nerves. My clammy hand grasps the knob, the stones in the door tumbling into place to unlock it. I slowly ease it open, revealing Caitlyn in her usual outfit, save the hat. My fingers tighten around the rim of the headpiece.

"Good morning, Vi" Her voice is even, her face neutral. She's playing another one of her games.

_I don't like it when she plays her games._

"Good morning…Sheriff." I stumble over my word, I almost call her Cupcake. The name sheriff seems so foreign to me now. "I take it you want your hat back, ma'am."

I choose my words carefully, forcing myself into a formal pattern of speech I have never used before. But I do it for her. My muscles tense, jaw clenches, awaiting her response.

"Impressive." Is what she gives to me before stepping past and into my flat, leaving me baffled by the door.

_What?_

I turn, shutting the door behind me. My eyes trail her as she steps through the room, inspecting the organized shelves and the clean glass doors to the balcony. Her hands are clasped behind her back, a common posture when speaks to the mayor. She drags a finger along the back of one of the couches, pulling it back and rubbing them together. No dust clings onto the digit.

A spark of pride is added to the cauldron.

"Very impressive." My eyes dart up to hers, I still unsure of her thoughts. A smile plays on her lips as she saunters over to me, hips swaying with every step. My hands twitch, wanting to reach out, but I remind myself of the circumstances surrounding us. I unconsciously step back, my back pressing against the stone door.

"I see that you took my advice." She sounds smug, a hand tossing her hair back.

My mind short circuits when her painted lips mold over mine. Out of instinct, my eyes slide shut and my spare hand wraps around her waist. I feel fingers tread into my hair and scrape against my scalp; a groan escapes into the kiss.

I ignore confusion in favor of the tingling bursting from my lips and where her nails dig into my skin.

We part, my eyes searching for an explanation. She gives me none in her own, blank ones. I sense that it's another test. I am amazed that I'm not fed up with her games yet. She smirks, have I played into her hands?

_Her mask…_

"You don't remember anything while you were blind." It's a statement. She sounds…disappointed?

I shake my head and shove the hat into her chest, pushing her back. Though I feel annoyance brewing in my chest, my cheeks flush with guilt.

"No and let's keep it that way." I attempt to push past her but her arm blocks me way. I feel trapped, I never talk about my feelings and I don't intend to start anytime soon; especially if she wants to play me like a toy.

She presses me back into the door, I almost growl, my lip lifting. On look into her eyes and my anger disappears. They are vulnerable, her games have dropped.

"Vi." Her voice is soft now. She sets her forehead against mine; I can see that look in her eyes, when she's searching for a reaction to something she did not anticipate.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. You were the first person I have truly trusted and I, I don't know, I just felt so hurt when you broke that trust."

My mouth opens to reply but her finger silences me. Her eyes speak a silent apology for the action. Caitlyn doesn't like being interrupted.

"But, I understand and I accept it. I can't stop you from doing what you need to do. Just please, if anything, be careful."

I see tears welling up in her eyes.

_ My Caitlyn, so fragile, so strong._

A calming breath is taken in by the both of us.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Vi" She murmurs, she glances away, her eyes lingering away before coming back. "I love you. Please promise that you'll be safe."

_She knows that it's an impossible request_

It's the first exchange of those words I've longed to hear.

But it doesn't feel the way I thought it would.

_Yet she asks it anyways_

My heart shatters.

I struggle to keep eye contact.

I can promise her so much.

_She wouldn't even be able to promise it_

I can promise protection, undying love and support.

But not this.

Of all things she can ask of me.

_She needs to hear it_

_Oh Caitlyn_

"I promise."

_I hate lying_

It takes a moment for us to smile; a quick kiss seals the promise. Her hand brushes up my arm, delicate pads grazing the scab. It pulls at it, I hiss at the unexpected pain.

"Oh lord, what happened?" She quickly asks, it took her this long to notice? She must've been really districted.

"A little gift from a certain fluff ball when I was returning his eye piece." I grumble out, shrugging. I prepare her to lecture me about taking care of my wounds; she even knows what I keep my healing salve. Instead, my ears are graced by a chuckle.

I am shocked for a second time, is this even the same Caitlyn before my blind?

_Fuck, am I blind right now?_

"You sure that you don't want to know what you did when you were blind?"

Lighthearted, my own heart flutters. My eyebrow rises, mouth parted in thought. I am more curious than ever. I want to ask, but my pride keeps me from it. It probably wasn't one of my best moments.

"Yes ma'am." I smile, replying in a mock formal tone, even throwing in a badly forming salute. All I can think about is the relief that she's not angry anymore.

"Suit yourself. You'll never know how we managed to steal every head dress of all the champions." She winks, taking the hat from my hand and placing it on her head and tipping it slightly. She kisses me on the cheek and opens the door.

_Wait_

_We?_

The sound of the door locking behind me snaps me out of my trance. I whirl around, throwing the door open and searching the halls for her. Not a single trace but the sweet smell of lavender.I am left standing like a fool in the middle of the walkway.

I never did find out what happened while I was blind.


	36. Memory 27

"Caitlyn, will you please do the honor of starting off the vows."

My brain tunes back into the moment, I don't even know where it trailed off in the first place, probably thoughts of how pretty her eyes are, or of hextech…probably hextech. I faintly recall Karma's words about balance and peace being bestowed on us. I never looked too into the Ionian culture; it was Caitlyn's idea to have an Ionian ceremony.

The serenity serves a nice break from the hustle and bustle of Piltover.

The early spring breeze swept around us, stirring the sunflower and lavender petals that blanket the grass. I stare at her, elation brewing in my chest, as much as I want the ceremony to be over with, I also want it to last forever.

_Oh Caitlyn_

My gaze darts to the left to see Jinx skipping up to the altar, clad in a simple, slate gray suit. She leaps to a halt and enthusiastically presents a volcanic stone with two slots carved into it. The two rings glisten in the sun, colors dancing with the wind.

She catches my eyes, her pink tongue darting out to taunt me, I return the action. Our childish antics remind me of older times. Even though she is the most annoying thing in the world, she is the closest thing I have to family.

"Plum hands"

"Runt"

I smile after our little exchange, it drops however when I feel a squeeze on my hands that's a little too hard to be considered gentle. We both look sharply at Caitlyn who has a slight scowl on her face. As if we are one, we smile sheepishly and shrug our shoulders.

_Old habits die hard_

She shakes her head; I catch an amused smirk under the curtain of hair. Releasing my hands, she delicately retrieves the ring from the rock. Its pale purple gem brings me back to the night she proposed.

_It is a fond memory._

We all look expectedly at her but her eyes only tango with mine.

"With this ring," she begins, cradling my bare hand in her own. The discomfort that rises is quickly brushed away by her reassuring touch. "I vow to stay by your side, to be there when you need a friend and a lover. I promise to complete any extra paper work that may occur courtesy of your unconventional law enforcement tactics."

I share an airy laugh with the small audience. My ears automatically pick out Tryndamere's rough chuckle from the more sophisticated crowd. Her eyes twinkle with amusement before they glance down and back up. My heart melts when she presses her lips together; it's a pesky habit she does to prepare herself to speak from the heart.

It is not the sun's warmth that explodes in my chest.

She eyes leave mine. They stray to my ruined hands. They are always cold to the touch, rough, leathery, skin twisted and wrinkled. I want to avert my eyes, but I can't, I stay with her, following her gaze. It doesn't burn like the gazes of the others but it churns my stomach all the same.

She looks up and continues.

"But above all, I promise to accept you for who you are, and no matter what may come or who you come to be, I will love you forever."

She slides the ring onto my finger, the purple stone accenting the deep violet color of my hands. She's told me this so many times before; I embrace the words all the same. She's always told me to look on the bright side of my 'condition'.

I can't really complain in the end, they've given me so much strength, none of the thugs of Piltover even dare to show their faces during my patrols after seeing what I did on my first day back. A few bruises are no longer my style now.

A method frowned upon by Caitlyn, but it is effective nonetheless.

But to see them beside her hands; the hands that offered me a way out of my suffocating life in the lowercity. My heart just sinks at the sight

_It's a gift and a curse_

I push the worries aside and lose myself to her. Her eyes shine with honesty. No more games.

"Ahem."

My brows furrow, we both glance at the source of the noise. Jinx stands with a hand on her hip, the stone raised in the other. Her foot taps impatiently.

"Right." I breathe out, taking the other ring, a pale gold one with a pink gem set in it that would make Taric swoon. Blue blows one last raspberry at me before skipping back to her seat.

The ring feels cold in my hand.

"With this ring,"

_Lies_

I freeze, lips parted, words clinging to my tongue. They cower as if frightened by the voice.

_All of it lies._

My eyes dart about, my muscles tensing for a fight. The whispers sound like they surround me, coming and going with the breeze. I can feel my pulse speeding up, but not with love this time. Caitlyn takes my hands, her face full of worry; I can see Karma taking a small step forward.

I focus my ears, trying to hear the voice again. Fear pin pricks the back of my fear.

"Vi…"

My wide eyes dart to her, my love. My mind is lost, blank. I can't remember what I had prepared or even what I want to say. I lick my dry lips, trying to recollect my frayed nerves.

_It's just the fucking wind, calm down._

I hold her hands tight, wracking my brain for words, any type of explanation. I worked so hard on what I was going to saying, practicing and rewritings night after night, but my mind draws a blank.

A calming breathe, and I start anew.

"Caitlyn, for the life of me, I can't remember what I meant to say." I wince as her shoulders sag slightly, she rarely displays any indication to her emotions, and it's painfully obvious she is disappointed. "So I speak from my heart when I say."

I release on of her hands and slide the ring onto her, my fingers trembling.

"That with this ring, I vow to be there always, whether I am needed or not, to stay by you as your crutch, as your anchor in an unpredictable ocean. I promise to make the tea just right on late night shifts at the station." She smiles, pulling me closer. Out foreheads touch, we pause before our lips can meet.

"I promise to keep you safe, to love you despite whatever may happen, I'll do my best to keep you sane."

For a moment, the ceremony disappears; we drift away from Ionia and darkness is all that surrounds us. I whisper the next part just loud enough for her to hear.

"I promise to stay safe, Caitlyn."

A tear slides down her cheek, she nods. I bring my hand up and wipe away the droplet. We've exchanged these kinds of words before; I don't quite understand why she is so moved, but I think I'm beginning to.

It doesn't matter, I'll do it anyways, I'll say these words over and over again for her.

_I'll do anything for her._

We stay, foreheads touching, peering into each other's eyes as Karma finishes the ceremony.

"Do you, Caitlyn of Piltover, take Vi as your love, through peace and through turmoil, to stand by her in sickness and in health even if balance may be out of reach?"

"I do."

_Blatant_

I feel so safe, eyes half lidded, her warm hands against my cold ones. Inches apart.

"Do you, Vi of Piltover, take Caitlyn as your love, through peace and through turmoil, to stand by her in sickness and in health even if balance may be out of reach?"

I speak only to her.

"I do."

"Then by the gods above, I pronounce you wed, may the heavens guide you."

_Heresy_

It is not Ionian custom to kiss, rather the couple is supposed to bow to each other but I doubt that they expect me to do that.

Our lips touch as the crowd applauds. The world could end right now and I wouldn't give a shit. I am reluctant to part, the ceremony must continue though. Hand in hand, I turn to the audience of close friends we've invited, most of them champions of the league.

Expectations.

"Alright, who's ready for some food!" I shout, Tryndamere immediately stands and rushes to the buffet table set up to the side, his wife doing her best to slow him down. The others soon follow.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I spot the two empty seats left on first wooden pew. Sadness creeps up my chest, they were meant for Caitlyn's parents.

_She's sacrificed so much of her own life in order for this to work_

A sudden tug at my arm, brings me to face her, she looks happy, I reflect her smile, I can't ruin the mood. There is a flicker of concern.

"You planned that didn't you?" She sounds like she's trying to convince herself.

_I can't tell her the truth_

I give her a quick peck on the cheek, grinning widely.

She shakes her head and playfully taps my on the arm. My hands tightens around hers, the ring presses into my palm. With devious smirks, we make our way to the cake, I am glad that I have longer arms than her; I don't plan to be washing icing out of my hair later.

_Mother_

The whispers add themselves to the cauldron.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I whisper to her along the way.

A jolt of guilt rushes through me.

It was the first lie I told her as her wife.


	37. Memory 29 (lemon)

"I can't believe Heimerdinger of all people would this to us."

I hear Caitlyn voice drift over to me as I return from our private hot spring, the cool night air spilling over my nude body. Though my muscles are pleasantly relaxed, the bamboo floor feels strange under my pruned feet. It's what I get for falling asleep in the bath.

The clever retort my mind instantly provides me with dies in my throat when I catch sight of her sprawled across the king sized bed, clad in a modest evening gown that wrinkles at all the right places. My mouth closes and I'm suddenly acutely aware of the droplets of water trickling down my back, meandering lower and lower. I pause the toweling of my hair to gawk, heat rushes to my face and core.

_Oh Caitlyn_

"You alright there, Vi?'"

My head jerks, her amused teasing snapping me out of my trance, more blood rushes to my face. Her smirk tells that she has caught me staring, but I know it brings her more humor than annoyance at this moment.

"Cupcake," My tongue darts out to moisten my dry lips. "I've never been so alright in my life."

The towel is tossed to a corner of the room; it only takes two long strides to bring me onto the bed, my hands itching to touch. The mattress sinks under both of our weight; she looks up at me from her position of lying on her back, her hair pooled beneath her. The brown package from yesterday rests on her stomach, her lips quirked into a flirtatious grin.

"I think I can change that." She threads her arms around my neck, pulling me down into a searing kiss.

My eyes slide shut, hands roam up the side of her body, burrowing under the soft cloth of her gown. It doesn't take much for the anticipation I felt throughout the day to flood back; the thought of the device had plagued me for our entire tour of Ionia. Though amusing, whispering its name into Cupcake's ear at random points of the day did nothing to put her in the mood.

I let out a groan, her soft lips pulsing down my neck.

My hands grip into sheets. Teeth graze against my skin.

Heated breath

"Fuck Caitlyn."

I unwind my hands from the cloth and run them up her gown, strong fingers kneading the soft flesh I find. Her lips stop, I look down to see her head tilted back, mouth parted in a silent gasp. With half lidded eyes, she looks up at me, hazel shrouded in lust. I give another slow squeeze and feel her body lean into the touch. I am pulled down into another kiss.

In a blur, we're both bare in the sheets, tongues entangled, hair threaded between fingers. A moment's pause, the box separates our bodies, laying there unopened. I feel giddy, a feeling Caitlyn has described to me as something one would feel on Snowdown day. She catches my cheerful look, noticing my hands moving for the package.

"Shall we?" I grin with anticipation, hands darting to the cardboard surface. I steal another kiss from her lips before focusing on unboxing the gift.

"You better read the instructions on that thing." She barks out half hushed, she masks her concern with the militaristic order. It is not her words but her strong, confident tone that makes me want to open the box even faster, heat swirling at my nether.

When it does finally open, the device falls onto the mattress along with a small slip of paper. Though my hand itches to pick up the toy, I force myself to take the paper and hold it up for the both of us to read.

It's a crude drawing of Heimerdinger's face with a thumb up and two lines of text next to his smiling mug.

1) Hold base of device to groin area and allow the device to calibrate itself.

2) Pound away after calibrations are complete.

The paper is snatched out of my hands as Caitlyn wants to take a closer look. She scours the parchment, searching for anymore instructions or warnings. I don't mind, those two lines are all the direction I need; my hands go directly to the toy that hums to life at my touch. My lips curl up, my fingers tracing the smooth grooves all along the shaft. It pulses a pale pink when I brush against the very bottom of the base.

"I get the feeling that the professor was only in charge of the blueprints of this device." She feels uneasy, I understand why but I'm too eager to give a shit. If the fuzzball designed this thing, it's got to work, whether or not he designed the packaging. I kiss the corner of her downturned lips, distracting her as I position the tech.

When she finally catches on, it's too late.

The toy whirls to life, the familiar sound of hexgears grinding is music to my ears. A gasp of shock leaves of lips, my hands ripping from the device to grip the sheets. It stings, like someone driving stakes into my abdomen.

I grit my teeth; though it pales in comparison to the pain I felt at the Shadow Isles, it still forces a grunt out of my throat. My eyes crack open and I see Caitlyn's distressed eyes darting between the piece of tech and my face.

_I fucking swear this better be worth _

I let out a long, soft groan when the pain finally stop, an odd throbbing settling in its place. She loosens her death grip on my arm, my face relaxing from its contorted state. A gentle breeze blows in from the open screen door, drying the light sheen of sweat covering my body. A huff of air calms my nerves.

"That was…unexpected." I chuckle out, wrapping an arm around Caitlyn and kissing her forehead; assure her that I'm alright. Her hands don't leave my limb, she's still concerned.

_Here goes nothing_

I bring my other arm around, her head snapping and following the movement. In her amazing mind, she's running every scenario, her brain working out every kink, bringing her closer to comfort. And thus, in her amazing mind, everything that can happen would have already theoretically have happened and all variables will be accounted for and she can rest easy knowing how to fix whatever results my ill thought out actions may produce.

But her amazing mind needs time to do all this, and my simple mind is impatient.

The jolt that I feel racing up my spine sends my back arching, my leathery fingers only grazing the head of the toy. A moan violently tears out of my throat before I can even register it coming, the pleasure from a simple stroke sending my brain into overdrive.

I still, Caitlyn eyes locked on my face. I grin, a short pant comes out.

"This is fucking amazing." Though skeptical, her eyes grow more curious than concerned. The shift is abrupt, almost taking me by surprise. Her brown eyes sharpen, sending a shiver down my spine; I think I know what she's planning.

She pulls away from my half-embrace, bringing her calculating gaze level with the device. As her face inches closer, her warm breath ghosts over it.

"haaa, _cogs." _My head tilts back; I know she is very aware of what she does to me.

Control is what she desires.

"Intriguing."

_Pleasure is what I want_

My heart races, the tone she uses is the one when she's about to toy with me; husky, teasing, keen with authority and the desire to see what reactions she can draw from me.

It is one of the few games of hers I enjoy playing.

I do everything I can to at least reduce the sheer amount of curses that spill from my lips when her firm grip settles between my legs. I hear the sound of a bottle opening, a bottle of lubricant sitting in her hands. For a moment, my muddled mind tries to figure out where she got it from but another stroke abolishes my ability of producing a coherent thought.

_She's a million ways to be cruel_

"I think you need to learn a little self-control, officer." She whispers into my ear, drawing a whimper from my lips. Her slick, slender fingers swirls around

And around

And around

And

_Around_

"m-ma'am." I stammer out, stumbling back into the rules of the game. I can hear her smirk at my half-formed plea. I scamper to remember her past instructions.

_Call her ma'am and only ma'am._

"Look at me."

I cannot think, my body simply follows her orders. The swirling continues, sliding up and down and finally resting at the base. Heavy lidded, my gaze latches onto hers.

_Her word is the law._

"Don't you dare look away, officer."

"Yes, ma'am."

My lips part, greedily sucking a breath of air in when I feel her fingers leave for a moment. I can't look down; all I can do is focus at the task on hand.

A moment passes, eye contact only interrupted by quick blinks of the eyes.

Nails rake up my side to my hard peaks, twisting and pulling. The pain mingles with the pleasure shooting through my nerves. I bite my lip

_Do what she says._

And steady my gaze.

With every scrape, with every prod, I let out a quiet whimper, arms trembling to keep my upper body propped up. They lazily drag up, around my neck, tracing the tattoo she is so fond of; teal waves of turbulent water that begin at my collar bone and extending down my back.

They pull back down, leaving a trail of goose bumps and tingling flesh in their wake. My breath hitches, delicate pads pressing into my grooves of my toned stomach. She knows it's where I'm the most sensitive. My body wants to jerk away.

I almost falter.

"Focus." She reminds me in a foreboding tone, noticing the flicker in my gaze. I looked down just for a moment, in my chest I hoped she wouldn't notice. But nothing gets past her.

_Obey_

"Yes, ma'am. It won't happen again."

I swallow thickly, heat rushes to my face; it's so easy for her to make me feel embarrassed.

All I can see is her eyes; sharp and commanding. My heart thumps against my chest. I try to focus my eyes on her.

But I cannot see anything.

I can only feel her touch as it inches lower

And lower

Almost

Her fingers skip right past the toy, her whole palm smoothing down my tense legs. I want to throw my head back and let out the groan of disappointment that slams against the back of my throat. I hold back, tensing my muscles, only letting a small whine slip past my tightly draw lips.

She smiles.

"Good girl."

_Impress her_

She closes the gap between our faces, I eagerly return the kiss. Our tongues tangle, pushing, prodding against each other. In the bedroom, she is in control, but our mouths are an entirely different battleground.

"Fuck!"

I curse.

_And be rewarded_

This time I do pull back, nearly collapsing onto the mattress when her palm grinds against the entire length of the shaft. Before I can stop myself, my hips thrust up, uncaring about the consequences the action will earn me. All I want is more of her touch.

_Don't do anything unless instructed to._

I throw the rule to the wind, the delicious friction rippling through my body. I hear a chuckle, part of my heart stops, fearful of what the sound means. But I think little of it, all I know is that I need more.

More of her touch

Of her control

More of _Caitlyn_

My back hits the bed hard, her naked body pressing flush against mine. My mind is too clouded with lust and need; I can't keep up with her rules. I forget all of them.

_No touching unless she tells you to_

Her skin is so soft under my touch, my hands gripping into her thighs, roaming back to the curve of her ass.

_Mine_

A child like voice chirps in my head.

I unwittingly grin at my own thought.

She chuckles again, pulling her hair to one side of her face. Her eyes are dull like mine, hazed with desire, it is her smirk that is sharp.

"I should really punish you for that." She muses out loud, propping herself up. I am conflicted on where I should rest my hungry gaze. Cogs, her tits are to die for.

I pull myself together, settling on meeting her eyes.

Playful

"But I'll let it slide if you do one thing for me."

"Whatever you want, ma'am."

I reply fervidly. I would've fucking murdered all of Piltover if she asked me to.

I glance down; she positions herself right above the device. I can feel the heat rolling off of her. Her hands rest on either side of my head, she looms over me. There is still a sliver of the earlier sharpness that lingers in her murky orbs. Her voice is low and breathy.

"Tell me how bad you want it, love."

I almost laugh at the simplicity of her request. Her use of "love" gives me permission to slip away from the rules. The words want to spill forth all the same; shameless begging, but tonight, I bite back just a little.

"Shit, Cait, I want you so bad. I want to fuck you, mark you as mine and give you everything I am."

She quivers under my vice grip.I lower her down ever so slowly, both of us watching how the other reacts. I force the breath that rushes out my lungs to form words.

"With you a top of me"

Lower

"Against the wall"

Lower

"Even in the fucking garden."

And lower

"Too bad everyone's not here to watch, huh, sheriff?"

The same game as the first time.

Our eyes stay locked, a silent challenge to see who will look away first, I give up on trying to form words, air is hard enough to come by. A gasp is shared.

Her full bottom rests on my legs. Her mouth opens. Breathless.

"Fucking."

"Tease." I finish her statement. A pause, slight adjustments.

It feels like heaven; warm, wet heaven.

Her hands cup my face, lips molding with mine. She begins to move.

"Holy fucking shit." I dig my fingers into her hips, helping guide her up and down. Our sweaty foreheads rest against each other, our minds lost in a world of pleasure.

I did not imagine it to feel this good. I knew fuzzball was a genius, but this, he deserves a bloody medal. All the doubt I had about the ridiculously name Hymen-Donger were gone now.

"I hope this feels as good for you as it does for me, baby." My pace slows when I feel her hold onto my shoulders with a death grip, the thought of her in pain flashes in my mind. Her lack of a response worries me. I'm about to stop when she finally replies.

"Shut up and fuck me."

_Don't need to tell me twice._

I don't remember much of the rest of the night, other than having wickedly sore muscles the next morning. Vague imagines of knocked over lamps and the cool grass of our private Zen garden on our bare backs drift in and out.

What I do remember is getting a call from fuzzball the next afternoon, the yordle saying he received the test data and thanking me for aiding his research.

Caitlyn and I both plan on paying him a "friendly visit" when we get back to Piltover


	38. Memory 37

Calm

I drift

Float

Weightless

My eyes are closed, my body enveloped by some sort of wet warmth.

So at peace

I feel like I'm back in Ionia

Something bright shines through my eyelids

My face contorts, I want to bring my arm up to block the glare

But then I realize

The light at the end of the tunnel

No pain

I follow it

Rest awaits me

_Oh Caitlyn_

_My love. I hope you are safe. I hope that I did not hurt you. I will miss you dearly but I'll be waiting for you. I'll miss your gentle smile, the twinkle in your eyes, and your face of disgust when I tried to make tea for the first time. It all seems so long ago yet so recent._

_I'm sorry for leaving you, but it is for the best. So fucking cliché, I know. But I can't keep my promise, I'm so sorry Caitlyn. I did my best to keep myself safe, but we both know that it would never happen. It wasn't even a week after the wedding when I burned myself trying to make cupcakes. _

_But I can keep you safe, safe from whatever the Shadow Isles turned me into, my last promise to you. Caitlyn, you are the dearest thing in the world to me, something worth dying to protect. I know you can handle yourself without me._

_My heart pounds when you touch me, when I touch you._

The fluid vibrates around me. The light grows brighter

_I am thankful_

My hand twitches.

_You saved me from the streets, helped me clean up the lowercity. You held me and listened when I blubbered out every bloody detail of my childhood in Zaun._

I hear crying

_I was broken and you fixed me._

The shattering of glass rings in my ears; the light envelopes me.

_Let the Isles take me back, take me away from you, away from hurting anymore people._

My lungs burn

"Vi!"

_A clock chimes_

"Vi, wake up."

_My time is up_

"Please."

_Please_

"Come back."

_Let it end_

"I love you."

_My love_

_Tainted Perfection_

"Vi"

_I hate them all_

_The whispers_

_The snobby uppercity pigs_

_Mother_

"VI!"

_Why does it smell like lavender?_

My eyes snap open.

It is cold, lithe arms wrap around me; they cradle me and press a soft cloth to my shivering body. I cry out, my tongue forming no words particular. I burrow deeper into whoever holds me. The glimpse of the world I awake is was pure white. I shut my eyes again, the darkness comforts me.

_She smells like lavender_

"Vi."

It comes gently this time. I don't want to open my eyes, I know it isn't real. I'm scared, it feels like a dream. I don't want to wake up, just a little bit longer.

A few more moments with Caitlyn

She's going to disappear once I open my eyes. I hurt her; all I can remember is her blood and the blood of the summoners. She shouldn't have survived. Maybe I've passed, maybe she's here with me.

_My cupcake, my love, my life._

_I don't want to let go_

_Stay in the moment_

I cling on harder; balling my fists into what I think is her dress. It feels softer than I remember, the frills rubbing against my wet hands. I cling onto her scent, her touch that runs through my hair, onto her. She coos to me, softly singing the lullaby she would always sing when I had nightmares. I am cradled and rocked back and forth in her arms.

I hear hushed voices around us, they sound familiar but I pay them no attention. All I care is Caitlyn holding me before I leave this existence.

Leave for heaven as Damacians would see it

Leave for nothingness as Noxians would see it

Leave to be reborn as Ionians would see it

Leave for a parallel afterlife as Yordles would see it

Where ever I will go, I want my last moments to be spent thinking of her. Perhaps I will be allowed to relive my memories once more before I finally pass on. But for now, I am content to be in her arms.

"Vi, I need you to let go."

The voice is moved to tears, my memory serves me in this moment. She sounds just like how I remember her to. I feel more drops fall onto the back of my neck, they're warm.

_I won't let go_

_I'm not ready yet_

The wet cloth is peeled away from my body, I notice than I'm naked when another dry blanket is pulled around me, its softness warming me. The singing stops, I settle into her embrace, my breathing steadying. My muscles begin to ache. Minutes pass, not another sound is heard save for the choked sobs of both of us.

_Are we alone?_

My eyes remain closed, in the darkness I imagine Caitlyn on our wedding day, her bright, warm smile as she stood in the bamboo forest we explored, we spotted a family of pandas that day. I remember the adorable face she made while trying to chew through the rice ball dessert, how excited she was when we watched Ahri perform just for us.

Her soft lips when we kissed at the hot springs.

Hands cup my face; in the darkness I see her loving eyes, gentle face with billowing chestnut hair. Her lips are just as I remember them.

When we part, my arms wrap around her, I bury my face into her neck, losing myself to the scent of lavenders. She holds me as tears stream from my closed eyes. I dare not to open them.

"I'm going to miss you, Cupcake."

I speak from the heart, my voice hoarse. I can feel her smile into my neck. Her one tears gliding down my skin.

No words

_It feels so real_

I feel like I'm falling, flashes of light though my lids do not part. This is it. I hold on tighter, I don't want to let go, but I have to. She slips away.

I fall

_I am ready_

A clock chimes

_My time has come_


	39. Memory 38

Breathe in

Pause

Release

Repeat

My eyes flutter open, a dull orange haze faintly illuminates the room. I see a panel at my side, it's the kind we have in the hospitals in Piltover. I don't quite remember ever spending a decent amount of time in a hospital bed but I recognize it from my constant visits to the children's ward.

The constant beeping is off-putting.

The air smells sterile, executed, and then resurrected. My chest stings with every push of the respirator wrapped around my mouth. Another gush of air rushes into my lungs.

Breathe in

Pause

The door opens, the light from the hallway blinding me. All I can see is a figure that casts a shadow onto me. I'm not entirely sure, but it feels like her. Even if it's not her, I greet her anyways.

Release

"Hey Cupcake"

Repeat

The back light shines on her, she looks like an angel.

_My angel_

_I guess Demacia wins_

A multitude of clattering metal follows my greeting; she seems to have dropped a metal tray she was carrying. She rushes to my side and wraps her arms around me. I try to return the gesture; I rip the needle drip from out of my arm to properly embrace her. Her hair is a mess of tangles but I smooth my hand over it anyways. I feel her sobbing into my chest.

"You here to lead me to heaven, Cupcake?" I joke, I feel weightless again, expecting to be pulled into the light of the hallway.

The clock chimes

I see her face, her eyes looks tired but oh so warm. Her brows are furrowed adorably, just as I remember. I am ready.

My time has past

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me."

She slides the respirator mask over my head and smashes her lips against mine.

I comply, as much as I love kissing her, I can't help but feel confused. Is this the Shadow Isles torturing for one last time, mocking me with memories I can never relive? This might be the last moment I spend with Cait.

I should make the most of it.

She sits onto the side of the bed; it reminds me of the first time I woke up from my coma. She takes my hand; her hands feel softer than I remember. I brace myself to feel the discomfort of seeing my horrid hands but I stifle a gasp instead.

In the light from the doorway, I can see that my hands are…normal. They are _my _hands. Aside from the scars I accumulated during my life on the streets and the comical hash tag burn from the baking rack, my hands look as though the Shadow Isles never happened.

What if it never did, was it all just a dream from my coma?

Sudden panic rushes to my chest. Could it all have been a dream, a false memory?

How long have we been together? A few days, years?

I look at her, wide eyed, she feels my fear but she doesn't know why. A hand goes to my overgrown hair, her touch comforts me. I croon into the touch. She leans over, lavender spills onto me, lips press against my forehead.

Not quite a kiss

But the closeness

The contact

I relax, even if it never happened, it feels the same. The love that warms my heart feels so real, so what if we never got married for real, the memory is all I need.

I pulls her down into the sheets for a full on embrace, letting out a somber chuckle. No more tears, only smiles. No worries, she is here with me.

_Pure_

_Bliss_


	40. Memory 39

The leather cover of the journal closes softly under her callused fingertips. The evening sun streams through the window of her room in the warehouse, casting an amber glow over her few belongings.

_It took me a few weeks to adjust and finally come to terms with what has happened. Cupcake has been with me every step of the way. Her patience amazes me every day._

She looks out the window to see the bustling life of the lowercity. It's more populated, more alive than the uppercity. There is less of a barrier now; the uppercitizens come down for the bars and the nightlife. The lowcitizens are given scholarships to attend school in the uppercity. It is an exchange, not perfect.

Change is coming slowly.

_Apparently "I'm already dead, Cait, might as well have some fun" is not a good enough excuse to paint the entire treasury pink, of course Jinx had her fair share in the event. That's why the warehouse I live in is called 6V and Jinx. Little runt. _

The warehouse around her settles, most of the residents are of the older generation. There are a few hushed exchanges of good evenings and good nights. It hadn't been a very eventful day, a boring patrol, helping a few ladies cross the street. It feels like any other night, but tonight; tonight was Vi's night.

_I spend most of my time in the lowercity, much to her displeasure. I feel at ease here, knowing that I'm close to my warehouse family if something comes up. The crime rate has truly plummeted when the mayor finally agreed to allocate more patrols down here. He put me in charge of the lowercity patrols._

Outside the warehouse comes a slender figure, a cocktail dress hugging her body. The residents greet her as the come in and out the doors, everyone recognizes her, she is the sheriff after all.

_It was Zac that saved my life. He's a cool guy. Simple, funny, and can hold his liquor. They told me they fished me out of the tar pit and shipped me to Zaun. According to them, they have the most experience when it comes to dealing with organisms being exposed to unknown toxin._

_I couldn't agree more_

A new champion joins the league, a body of slime.

_I spent a full month suspended in a tank with him as he slowly worked at extracting whatever the hell the Shadow Isles put into me. He volunteered for the job_

_Me_

_A complete stranger_

_He risked his wellbeing in an attempt they weren't even sure was going to work. But he took the chance._

_And I am grateful. _

She gracefully walks through the renovated warehouse, the interior looking like a high end apartment complex, a sudden change from the rather humdrum exterior. It was a stark contrast to the time where she first met VI.

_When I awoke, I thought everything was a dream. I had lost it; they wanted to put me into a mental institute. Of course, Caitlyn wouldn't allow it. My love._

She walks with a purpose, knowing exactly where her love is and what code to put into the door to get to her.

_The second week was the worst. I woke up one morning, she had spent the night in my flat, but I couldn't remember a thing. I didn't remember who she was, all I knew what that she had found her way into my bed. I haven't been so scared in my life. I fell back into old habits, drew a knife that I hadn't touched in years. I almost killed her._

_Again_

Her painted fingers dance over the keypad, it chimes when the correct pin is entered. The door shuts behind her.

_I hate how I can't remember things. She does her best to calm me when the anxiety hits, when I the last memory I has is digging myself out of that mine with my new gauntlets. _

_She strokes my hair, whispers that she's here for me. It helps._

_But I can't stand it sometimes_

_The look in her eyes when I simply blank out and she becomes a stranger to me. _

_Both our hearts break._

The pink gem catches the light

_She deserves so much better_

Vi keeps her back turned to the door, her eyes fixated on the journal in front of her, back hunched over the parchment with scrawled words scratched into it. It lays open again, her eyes rereading what she has written. She hears the door open, but she knows who it is by the footsteps

And the smell of lavender that hangs in the air.

_I sound so happy, so sad, so…not me. I don't remember any of the things in this journal; I don't even remember writing them. It feels like I'm reading a fairytale, the lore of some other person. But I take them for fact, I do remember Caitlyn telling me to write down the visions I have of my past. _

_I'm sad that I can't remember our wedding day_

"At it again, love?" her voice is soft music, amused, with a hint of sadness. It is bittersweet.

_I try to look on the bright side, as she always tells me. It gives me a chance to relive my life, to make the memories again from scratch. It won't be the same as the first time, but it's all the same_

_As long as I'm with her. _

Wordlessly, Vi shuts the journal again and stands to greet Caitlyn, her hands going to smooth out the wrinkles of her suit. She smiles at the sight of her counterpart, she remembers her.

_Oh Caitlyn_

She doesn't reply but quickly walks over and hugs her, kissing her like she would disappear in a puff of smoke any moment. Their bodies mold perfectly.

_I have learned to cherish everything; I can't tell what I'll forget. _

Hands settle in the middle of the sheriff's back, teasingly sliding lower. She stands the same height as the enforcer due to high heels; they share a moment, simply staring into each other's eyes.

_There is a saying that she once told me._

Vi drinks the sight of her tastefully done makeup in, red lips part to show her smile. She remembers feeling so happy with just a glimpse of her face; from a sideways glance at the station to peeling for her in team fights.

_Cherish the past_

Violet eyes trace a nasty scar and peeks out from under Caitlyn's dress. She purses her lips; she can't remember the story behind it. She wants to open her mouth to apologize.

_Live in the present_

A Hand strokes her cheek, a thumb pressing into the tattoo on her cheek. It brings her face up for a chaste kiss, one to comfort her, assure her that everything is alright.

'I'm safe with you' the kiss speaks. Vi's heart flutters. Pure bliss returns.

The cauldron is still

The clock chimes

A pink and a purple gem shimmer in the light.

"Shall we go, Sheriff Cupcake?" Arms hook around each other as they leave the warehouse, airy laughter, looking forward to a pleasant evening. They head for the shuttle that'll take them to the uppercity. There are hundreds of people awaiting their arrival at the Annual Piltover Police Ball, the arrival of the first open gay couple in Piltover. The spark to the fire.

They are ready to make new memories.

_Hope for the future_


End file.
